- 2 years ago
Not sure why this was marked as spam when I went to edit it…here is second attempt:
Just as an FYI to newly engaged bees, as someone going through this right now, really consider carefully all the financial, emotional, and social costs that will go into having 5+ bridesmaids, especially if they are scattered in different states or countries and if you live in an HCOL area.
A lot has been written online about the cost of BEING a bridesmaid, but as a bride, I will tell you that the cost of HAVING bridesmaids is also a lot. As a bride, I am covering the cost of my BMs’ :
- Hair ($80 x 5 = $400)
- Gifts/Accessories ($60 x 5 = $300)
- Robes ($36 x 5 = $180)
- Bouquets ($70 x 5 = $350)
- Hotel rooms ($300 total – everyone is sharing)
- Dress assistance to a couple of the girls who are students ($200 total)
This is not including anything extra I’m pitching in for like bach party, bridal luncheon / afternoon tea ($250), or asking gifts ($125, which, in hindsight, probably wasn’t necessary. A card in the mail would have sufficed.).
Don’t ask them too early and don’t ask them their opinions on too many things. It causes drama, believe me. I lost one of my Bridesmaids this way (well, it was due to other issues, but wedding drama certainly didn’t help).
Really consider how many and which people you really want up there and who will actually have the time, money, personality, and inclination to travel and participate in the whole wedding and/or pre-wedding hoopla (if that’s what you want – if you’re a super chill, no expectations, low maintenance bride then kudos to you! lol). What I’ve learned is that your closest friends aren’t necessarily those who would be most suited or willing to be a bridesmaid – sometimes it really depends on personality and availability. The drama that often ensues with any bridal party may not be worth your friendship. In hindsight, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to have mostly grad students and recent graduates in my party, or how much of a process it would be to explain the American bridal party concept to everyone since most of my party are immigrants or children of immigrants. If I were to do this over again, I would have definitely appointed a Maid of Honor – I originally didn’t because I didn’t want to assign preferences to any of my friends (I don’t have sisters), but because there’s no one to take leadership or manage the group, everything is now all on me.
Anyway sorry for the long read! Hope this can be of advice to new bees 🙂