Considerations before choosing a bridal party (second attempt to post)

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I paid for half of the cost of the dress for my bridesmaids and I got them each a gift card to a place they like as a Thank you gift. None of them are getting professional hair or make-up, and they are wearing dress shoes they already own. So I guess that I think that the costs are as big or little as you want them to be.

For a partial payment of their dress, a gift card Thank you gift, and their bouquet I’m spending about $400 total on 4 bridesmaids. I didn’t even think about that when choosing though, I just chose 3 women that I was very close to and 1 person that my fiancé considers a sister (I knew it would mean a lot to him if I asked her.) I would not have picked anyone that caused drama though, I don’t even like to talk to people like that, let alone ask them to stand with me on the most important day of my life!

Post # 18
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

tiffy127 :  Good call! In hindsight, this is the route my mom recommended as well – pay for half the dress, bouquet, and give a gift card thank you gift and call it at that. I laud your decision!

Post # 19
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

beethree :  “Everything else is a bonus.” 

this is said a lot on this site but it’s not really true. In practice most US brides expect/get a bridal shower or two, a bachelorette, and at least 3 days of wedding activities. That’s my experience at least as a bridal party member. I didn’t always participate in everything but the expectation is there.

I ended up choosing to have no bridal party and it was the best decision.

Post # 20
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

gaminggoddess :  

  1. She causes drama numerous occasions
  2. She is often late/unavailable
  3. She will not go out of her way for anyone but herself

If anyone in your dream bridal party has 2 or more of those traits, I’d seriously reconsider. “


Wish I had read these words a year ago! I have a friend that fits all 3 of those traits. She is fun and sweet but extremely unreliable. I had 4 girls I knew I wanted as bridesmaids and felt bad and added on this friend since she said she wanted to be a bridesmaid. Boy was that a mistake. She has flaked out on everything and owes the other bridesmaids money. I asked her to step down and just be a guest as I don’t want to be stressed on the wedding day wondering if she is even going to bother to show up when she has an important role.

Lesson learned, if you have any doubt about someone being a bridesmaid, listen to your gut instinct!

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