- 8 years ago
I have been dating my boyfriend for 18 months. Of that time, we have lived together for 9 months. I would say that our relationship is truly wonderful – we’re very compatible and have a great time together. Over the 18 months, we’ve traveled abroad twice, had an emergency surgery experience, and even renovated a bathroom in my house (I own, he lives with me). So, we’ve really seen each other through varied experiences and challenges.
We’re both established in our careers, he with an MBA and me a PhD, although he has some pretty substantial MBA debt, which bothers him far more than me. I’ve been a home owner for quite some time. He’s 34 and I’m 30. I guess it feels like we’re headed towards marriage; however, we haven’t ever really had a discussion about it specifically.
He does say that he wants our relationship to be perm and we talk about the future often – far future, like in 10 years and beyond. But, there is very little discussion of what that means as far as a timeline goes.
We’re close with each other’s families, talking several times a month. They’re all kind of wondering…..well, when is the big day. And, frankly, I’m wondering the same.
I guess my question is: What would be a reasonable timeline for an engagement under these circumstances?
I feel congnizant that I do not have years to wait for him to decide about marriage and possible children given that I’m almost 31. But, I also hate to be “that girl” who is obsessed about where things are going and when. And I would really prefer not to bring it up – I would really like for him to initiate a conversation about it, if that makes sense.
I guess my ideal situation would be an engagement this summer with a spring 2011 wedding and possibly a child at 35 or 36. But, given that we’re as close as we are and sharing as much as we do and marriage hasn’t been discussed, I really wonder what he’s thinking?
Has anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your thoughts.