(Closed) Considering Adoption – Any advice or valuable resources?

posted 4 years ago in Adoption & Surrogacy
Post # 2
Hostess
11051 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

lindsayE: Hope another bee(s) can answer your questions. Good luck with it!

Post # 5
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

lindsayE:  We’re thinking of doing this as well. We’ve been trying to have a child but I don’t think a biological child is in the cards for us. My cousin adopted 2 older children (brothers – one was around 10 and the other was 13). I want a family more than I want to be pregnant. Did you find any resources after?

Post # 7
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

I haven’t done a lot of research on the topic yet, but I want to talk to my Fiance about fostering children 6+ after we are married and finished with graduate school. I’m not sure if I want children of my own yet, but the urban areas where we live are badly in need of help, and I want so badly to help some of those children.

I think fostering or foster/adopt is wonderful. Having grown up in an abusive home personally, and volunteered in college as a guardian-ad-litem, it makes me happy to hear that there are people who want to help these kids. 

Post # 9
Member
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

lindsayE:  Thanks! I’m going to reach out to my cousin as well. She’s also a consultant who (along with many other things) works with families adopting. I’ve considered adopting for awhile tbh. I hoped to have biological children as well but have always been open to adoption. I was single for a long time and planned to adopt when I was 40 if it looked like I wasn’t going to meet anyone. 

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

NO direct experiences, but would like to say it’s a great idea and lots of luck xx

Post # 11
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

What do you mean attachment issues? Like you’re worried about the child not becoming attached to you? Because I don’t think that will be an issue. You may want to avoid children with severe mental health issues, but as a foster care/ adoptions social worker for the county, most of what I encounter is older child adoptions. I also have several aunts and uncles who were adopted as older children. ive seen all of these children bond to their foster parents, most moreso than they were bonded with their bio parents. It’s all about quality time and nurturing. Additionally, if you choose to adopt through foster care you’ll have the child for a minimum of six months (ish. I don’t know your exact state laws) before you can even start the adoption process. You’ll have time to get to know the child and find out if you can mother them before actually deciding to adopt. 

Post # 13
Member
6992 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

lindsayE:  I personally don’t have experience adopting myself but I have several very close friends who have been through the process. I was really interested in adoptiong for a long time, but having seen (and been a shoulder to cry on) several of my friends have the most aweful experiences it’s really turned me off. The process and red tape is just heartbreaking. 🙁 I have friends who have tried every form of the process you can imagine to have a baby (fertility treatments, surragacy, private adoption, foster to adopt) and it’s been a disaster. I feel like such a negative nancy about the whole thing but I literally cannot fathom going through what my friends have gone through. The legal system in my state is seriously messed up when it comes to adoption. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  .
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Post # 14
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

lindsayE:  no way, definitely not the case! Like I said, steer clear of major MH issues if it’s not something you think you can handle (and it’s perfectly fine if you can’t!) but there are tons of loving older kids who need homes!!!

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