Post # 1
My Fiance this evening after yet another conversation of how frustrating the wedding planning has been told me that if I want to elope, we can.
I am now trying to weigh our options and decide what is best for us. The story behind the decision is that we have been planning our wedding since March, for April 27th. In august our church informed us that due to a new saturday service the timing of our wedding would be challenging (either early afternoon or after 6:30PM) as we had planned on the reception at the church to save money.
This lead to contemplating other venues which all cost a bit more than we wanted to spend which lead to the decision to have the wedding and ceremony on the friday before, April 26th (our actual dating anniversary)
This has not been a wonderful experiece all around, my parents have not committed an amount as they don’t know what they can come up with…. but they keep saying it will be something (we doubt this) and his parents keep suggesting eloping (the kicker is they are FAR wealthier than my parents and could easily help us)
All in all, we are not enjoying this experience, we are just finding it stressful and never imagined we’d have to pay for our own wedding. We’ve got it mostly planned, have a wedding party, and people planning bachelorette/bachelor parties, showers etc. It’s hard to decide whats best because It feels like we may be too far along… but at the same time we want to stop feeling so miserable and stressed. I’d love to hear from brides who have wrestled with these kinds of decisions..
Post # 3
If both of you are unhappy with the current wedding planning process, and can agree with eloping, I’d do it!
Post # 4
It sounds like eloping would fix many of your problems. Are there any negatives?
Post # 5
If you are both “miserable and stressed” and have been for some time, then this isn’t healthy. Elope! It’s better to decide now rather than later before you have much money tied in.
Post # 6
If money is the only reason, then I don’t think eloping is necessarily a great idea. If it’s to get out of the craziness of wedding planning and be married to your Fiance in a low-stress way, then it might be just the right choice for you! Will it cause a different kind of stress if you elope (resentment from parents)? Not that that’s a reason not to do it, but you need to be prepared.
Picture the perfect day in your head. Is it you surrounded by family or friends? Or is the picture just focused on you and FI? That should help guide you.
You CAN make a wedding work on a small budget. If that’s what you want, then I think you should try. But if what you actually in your heart want a more private, quite ceremony – then go for it!
Post # 7
Destination wedding elopement at a sandal’s resort 🙂
They offer a “free” wedding with a weeks stay. It’s simple, not a lot of details, but they’ll cater to your religous preference. The package includes a 5×7 photo, but there are lots of options for other photo packages as well.
I’m divorced and all I can remember from my previous wedding was the stress from planning and a whole handful of things that went wrong on the actual wedding day. I don’t remember the special feeling that you should have on that day.
Now, Fiance and I, having both been previously married were initially planning to do a destination wedding at a Sandal’s resort but couldn’t figure out how to include my son in it so we are having a ceremony with just the 3 of us and the preacher and then a month later, Fiance and I are going to the Sandal’s in Montego Bay, Jamaica and “renewing our vows” as a couple. Each year we plan on celebrating “family day” each year with our child(ren) on the first date, then celebrating our anniversary as a married couple on the second. Both services were planned within a few weeks and there’s been no stress at all. Initially our families were disappointed we weren’t inviting anyone, but when we explained that we were celebrating the union of us as a family and wanted to keep it private, they understood and gave us their blessings. We couldn’t be happier with our decision.
Whatever decision you guys make, make it with your heart, focusing on what makes the two of you the most happy and remember it’s about the marriage, not just the wedding!!
Post # 8
Let me know what you do! Your situation sounds nearly identical to mine..Except we do have a little one.. My fiancé wants to slope just the 2 of us and then come home and have a party on our original wedding date.
Post # 9
Thanks for the responses guys I appreciate it. Both of us do want a wedding, but the cost is what frustrates us. Could we pay for it on our own? Yes, but I think deep down we are both resentful because we never imagined doing so, and dislike spending this kind of cash going into our marriage. I think we are both just overwhelmed by it. In my head I do picture the two of us, I do imagine the wedding we have dreamed of, but it is the stress of it that causes us to question. We also do question the practicality of it all as we recently purchased a home and have been together 4.5 years, very little will change with us, so it’s hard to decide which way to go. But it’s nice to have thoughts of others, thank you…
Post # 10
Elope, have a party when you two return. Maybe you can have a vow renewal ceremony in a few years!
Post # 11
“we are just finding it stressful and never imagined we’d have to pay for our own wedding.”
“we are both resentful because we never imagined doing so”
“dislike spending this kind of cash going into our marriage“
Well do you think you’re parents enjoy forking over money when it’s not even them getting married?
If you completely remove the expectation that you had – and completely start to think along the lines of we are paying for our own wedding because that’s adults do – where does that put you two then? Does it make the difference?
Post # 12
With all due respect, my parents and his parents are delighted and thrilled to contribute to our wedding day. We are not doing anything lavish, so it is not a complete hardship for them. It does not make anyone less of an adult when their families subsidise the wedding. The key is to stay within one’s means.
Post # 13
ohhh just Elope, you know you wanna do it! I love the idea of doing it through a Sandal’s resort. Like some other bees said, you can always throw a big party when you get back!
Post # 14
@JoolyBee: If they want to then great and what a gracious gift from the parents, but she’s resentful that she’s not getting hers paid for.
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Never too late to elope. Your stressed out and you are relaizing your parents aren’t going to give you much if any money and you and your FH are unable to pay for the wedding you want but you can afford to elope. Elope. It’s way less stressful and your friends and family planning wedding parties will understand (planning those parties is stressful as well.) I am not enjoying wedding planning very much myself and any time my FH complain I tell him we can always just elope. I hope he finally takes me up on the offer!
Post # 16
You’re still pretty early in the wedding planning process. If it’s not right for you and your fiancee then it’s not right.
Will you regret not having a big wedding? If not, elope. If a part of you is going to regret not having a married when you hear about others and their wedding, don’t elope.
After being on WB and seeing what everyone else is going through, I’m overjoyed to be eloping.