Considering Embryo Freezing

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 18
Member
14970 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

graces7 :  I’ve been planning a pregnancy for 4.5 years now.  Had 2 and last 2 last year.  Thanks, but I won’t be accepting any congrats until that baby is in my arms…. I’ve learned the hard way jsut getting pregnant is not even half the battle… 

Post # 20
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

graces7 :  I would really think about the emotional implications of IVF. I mourned the loss of the ability to have children by having sex with my husband for free (we are $30,000 into it and I’m not pregnant). I grieved not feeling a connection to my husband during the transfer process (it failed, we are starting over tomorrow). Even though he was there, it is a medical procedure that took preperation and time. Definitely more preperation and time then having spontaneous, loving sex with my husband. It’s extremely invasive. The time spent doing initial testing, consults, and then actual retrieval isn’t minimal depending on your body and the clinic. For a retrieval cycle someone said that they had 3-4 visits, I’ll have 5-7. I’m taking nearly a week off from work because I didn’t last time and I was miserable. You are sore and uncomfortable for a total of 3ish weeks during and after. The worst part is there is NO guarantee that you will get plenty of embryos to freeze. For enough embryos for 5 children, you are looking at 2-3 IVF retrieval cycles (if you are lucky). I hit worst case scenario on my first retrieval, had 46 eggs retrieved (insane number) and at the end of the process we had 2 chromosomally normal embryos (one failed transfer). My doctor would not transfer two especially if they had been tested (highly recommend you test them, another $5000 or so). 

I’m not saying don’t do it, I’m just saying really think about all aspects. Personally, I could never go through this by choice. IVF has ruined the surprise, spontanaity, and intimacy of getting pregnant.

Post # 22
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

graces7 :  Do you have a very supportive husband who can potentially not work or do you guys make lots of money combined?  I ask because… I am a litigation paralegal in a small law firm (4 attorneys and me).  They are all men and have lots (4 or 5 each) of kids and their wives stayed home and had nannies.  I’m not sure having a busy active law career and 5 kids is possible without LOTS of help/money.  I have one son and I do everything around the firm but the lawyer (literally, accounting, hr, reception, etc) and it is very hectic.  Between my husband’s job (busy but not over the top) and mine, we are barely managing the one kid.  If you don’t plan on starting until 32-33, you’d need to stack the kids on top of eachother which would make it infinitely harder.  I would seriously reconsider your plans to wait.  ALSO, once you have a kid, you may change your mind about wanting to be so intense with your career, and you will have wasted 3 years building up your career that you aren’t so focused on anymore.  Just some things to think about.  I would love three kids, but I’m not sure I could handle working full time with three unless I had lots and lots of help/nannies/etc or spaced them out so I didn’t have a bunch of littles.

Post # 23
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Seconding the recommendation to genetically test the embryos if you choose to move forward with embryo freezing. We just went through our first IVF cycle with the intention to freeze them while I address some other medical issues that have prevented me from becoming pregnant. They retrieved 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 9 made it to day 5 for genetic testing (PGS testing). Out of those 9, 3 were chromosomally normal and were frozen – the other 6 had genetic defects that would have resulted in miscarriages. The extra $2,000 to genetically test them most likely ended up saving us a lot of unnecessary grief since we’ll only implant the ones that have the best chance of survival. PGS testing will also (most likely) eliminate some of the embryos you end up with, so you’ll have less to deal with in terms of “abandoning” embryos that wouldn’t have been viable in the first place. That’s my experience, at least.

It’s numbers game, and it’s different for everyone. You’re smart to be proactive with planning your future family, though, and we’re lucky we have these options available to us. Best of luck to you!

Post # 26
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

graces7 :  Correction, I only have one kid, we want 3.  TTCing #2 has been a major struggle which is also part of the reason I don’t recommend waiting.  

If you are financially sound and able to get help, then I guess I wouldn’t worry about it too much other than it takes time to TTC.  

Post # 28
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

graces7 :  Trying to conceive.  It took 8 months to get pregnant the first time.  We started trying for a second May 2015 and I still am not pregnant yet (I had one ectopic in the mean time).  Basically, shit happens and you just can’t always plan your family as much as you want to.

Post # 30
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I wish I had done this in my early 30s – if you have the funds definitely do it. I’m 38 and have now had two failed attempts to get embryos for freezing. I’m now just trying to get pregnant naturally but will probably start clomid next cycle. You never know – it might be easy for you to get pregnant later in which case you never need to use them. But if it’s not easy, and especially if you want five, freezing is a great idea.

Just understand it’s still a low chance of success – even if you get embryos you can’t rest on your laurels thinking you have time to wait. Even under the best of circumstances IVF is a crapshoot. Lots of women wait to establish their careers thinking science will help them get pregnant later and you really can’t rely on that. Honestly if you really want kids I would not wait much longer, especially if you want five. Which to be totally honest would be tough for you at this point anyway, unless you are very fertile and have them in rapid succession. Women with five usually start in their 20s. 

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