- 4 years ago
Im considering giving up dating for at least all of 2015. I have been examining ‘why’ I date And why I am looking for a boyfriend. And my reasons are:
1. Love and Attention
2. Survival (financial security/splitting bills)
I have been dating a lot this year. Particularly in the last six months when I discovered Tinder. It has been efficient in finding dates but yet I am never satisfied. similar scripts are played out ( lots of texts, followed by a few dates, then sex) There is some fun and pleasure in this yet very little commitment. it seems mostly guys want sex and I don’t like feeling disrespected by all the pre-text of wasting my time with the endless texting ect. A lot of guys try to portray themselves as wanting a relationship and as a good guy only to find out they only wanted sex in the end. WHY NOT SAY YOU ARE JUST LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP? I’m kinda tired of wasting my time and rearranging my schedule and putting other things aside in my life just to play this game over and over. It’s not satisfying. I realized one of the things I actually enjoyed in a relationship the most is sex. so perhaps I should just find a FWB for the next year and then come home after…sleep in my own bed and not have to spend all this time arranging dates and endless messaging all for nothing. do more productive things with my day. As far as the love/attention reason…I can find that through my friends and family..,and they honestly deserve my time more.. relationships have given me a lot of the opposite of what I’m seeking: Hate and abandonment Instead of the love and attention. As far as the survival reason I currently have a job I love but it pays very little. I am working on developing my skills and applying for another exciting career and starting a side business. I have made strides towards this. It’s going to take a lot more of my time and effort and energy to make this happen for me. So I just don’t know if I should risk expanding more of my energy towards dating with little results when my time and energy has become more precious than ever.
i guess my question is am I crazy? Lol. I’m in my early 30’s and on the other side of the coin worried about leaving the dating pool all together…it’s just something I have never done before really. perhaps there is another ‘plan’ I have not considered that you bees can suggest for me? I’m trying to take some control and have some direction in my life and stop what some days feels like ‘madness’