(Closed) Considering private mansion for wedding. Etiquette on renting out rooms?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

Didn’t you ask this question last week?

You cannot charge people for their rooms if you are renting the entire property.

Post # 4
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah sorry bee, but I think it’s a bit rude to ask any guest (family or otherwise) to pay for a room to help you justify the cost. 

Edited to add: plus, if you only have ten rooms, who misses out? Will you be paying for accommodation for all of your guests? You could potentially upset a lot of people by putting some up in this manner and not others. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  garnobella.
Post # 6
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Uhm I don’t know.  I would say no outright just because:

1.  Collecting $$ from family.  Tough. 

2.  They are renting from you to attend your wedding that’s in this mansion.  Plus gifts for you.  I would say there’s a lot of benefit for you in this wedding.

3.  As a guest, there are hotel amenities that a mansion would lack–cleaning and turn down service (this is relaxing for me to go back to my hotel room and see a clean and tidy room), bathroom situation (are people going to share?), and zero privacy.  

Hope others give another perspectins but for me, this is not a good idea. 

 

Post # 7
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
HeatherKH1:  It must have been deleted, there was a thread here the other day with a very similar question, I could swear it was the same number of rooms and everything.

Post # 9
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
HeatherKH1:  You know your family and friends best, and it is possible that nobody will feel ‘left out’. But you’re right, adding vows makes it a wedding which certainly brings out the crazy in people 😜

Post # 10
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think you should discuss with your family, especially as you’re saying its a family reuniion as well. i know that my Dh and my families would in no way think it was rude or would even think twice about it. Everyones families are different and i dont see this as any different than blocking rooms in a hotel for wedding guests. Good luck

Post # 12
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

It looks lovely, but I think asking friends and family to essentially pay for your venue is a bit tacky. At a standard destination wedding, there is some clarity around who is hosting (ie guests pay for their accomodation and meals but the couple pays for all wedding activities/extras if they choose). Beyond my gut feeling, I just feel like it could get messy around who is paying for what (ie other meals, etc) if everyone is staying in the same house but you are technically the host. 

If the family reuinion is going ahead, perhaps that could be organised in the first instance and, if you and your fiance elope before, you could host a celebration party as part of it. 

Post # 13
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Ceremony: Cellon Oak Park; Reception: Alachua Woman\'s Club

I wouldn’t be offended to pay for a room. I don’t think most of my family/friends would be offended either. People will have to pay for accomodations somewhere and they can choose to go for the standard hotel with the associated amenities and costs or pay for a room. As long as you talk to people beforehand, let themknow the options for accomodations and what the cost will be, and have enough people that can commit to booking the rooms I don’t see why it would be an issue. Btw, that place looks awesome!

Post # 14
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I do not think you can ask people to pay.  BTW, I am also offended when people have destination weddings at all-inclusive places and guests are only given the choice of either staying at the all inclusive or paying a fee to come on the grounds and in effect subsidizing the wedding. That being said, In My Humble Opinion, if both parents have offered to help with wedding costs, you can put this on the table.  This may result in only family staying there. 

Post # 15
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We did this for our destination wedding. We rented a huge house in Hawaii, had the ceremony on the beach and the reception on the lanai. We rented the house for the week and all of our guest stayed there. It was basically a huge family vacation, where we got married Thursday night. We told everyone how much it would cost per person from the get go and they all transferred money to my account. It really wasn’t a big deal, idk why the bee makes it one. They would have to pay for accomidations anyways, and I guarantee you they weren’t going to find anything cheaper, and especially not as nice. If your family is okay with it, does it really matter what a bunch of strangers on the internet say? 

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