constant fear of infertility….not even TTC yet & already worried!!

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
3229 posts
Sugar bee

@cdenise89:  I have this same fear! Once we get married, we won’t start trying for 4-5 years, but I am still worried. I’ve never had any issues so far and my mother had seven children. I think this is a common fear. My other friend who is not even seeing anyone now has this fear too.

Post # 4
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you should not worry.  You’re young and don’t have any diagnosed fertility problems.

FWIW, my Future Sister-In-Law was told she had PCOS and got pregnant *while* she was on BC!  On the other hand, I also know a 30-year-old who suffers from stage IV Endometriosis.  She’s planning on doing IVF, not sure if she’ll get pregnant or not though.  I think she said that if she doesn’t succeed in getting pregnant this year she’ll get a hysterectomy.

Post # 5
4575 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@cdenise89:  I took the same BCP too and i was on it for at least 6 yrs before i went off it and started TTC.  I had the same fears as you are having now, but honestly only time will tell whether you are fertile or not.  There is no way to know until you actually get all those wonderful tests done your body;(….I am sorry to hear your are having this fear, but why don’t you try talking to your MD about it, maybe there is something she can do or tell you that may be more reassuring and comfoting for you.  This is my 5th cycle trying and if i dont get preggos this cycle, I have to go through those tests starting next cycle.  I waited.  If you don’t want to wait, I suggest to talk to your MD.

GL and wish you the best ;))))

Post # 6
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence

I started charting a few months before our wedding, partly because of this! I managed to convince myself that we would run into problems — so charting has shown me that I ovulate every cycle, at least, which has been really reassuring.

I know for some people charting leads to MORE anxiety though (going through something similar right now with genetic testing).

Post # 7
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yep!! I’m getting married in September, I’ll be 28, and will go off birth control and just “see what happens” for a little while. I’ve been on low dose birth control (ortho tri-cyclen and loestrin) for about 10 years too, and I’m convinced I will have fertility problems for a couple of reasons. I never had really regular periods before I went on the pill, and I run marathons and am quite thin, so I just feel like I can’t get pregnant. Plus, my Fiance is 37, so I feel a little added pressure that it can’t take too long because he’s getting older (I know men can have kids much later, but we don’t want him to be too old!). I’m sure we’ll be fine, but I totally understand the worry!

Post # 8
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

This falls under the category of “try not to worry about something that you don’t have any control over.”

I know it’s difficult, because we spend so many years trying to prevent pregnancy only to turn around one day and want the exact opposite. But until you are ready to start trying, there is no way of knowing what will happen, so it’s not really with worrying over.

Just for comparison, I started BC at age 17 after 3 years of very irregular periods. I was on it for 13 years and stopped taking it in April. Darling Husband and I were still actively preventing while my cycles normalized, which never happened. They ranged from 23-49 days and drove me crazy.

On December 17, I visited my OBGYN to do blood tests and an internal ultrasound to see if there is a medical reason I’m not regulating. Everything tested normal. He recommended that I start temping to see if/when I O each month.

Shock of my life when I got a BFP my first month temping! Didn’t even know when I was going to O, so it was more or less an accident that we somehow timed our BD correctly.

So bottom line, there’s no use stressing until there’s something to stress over 🙂

Post # 9
4982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m about 5 years from TTC, but I have a recourring nightmare that I go to the gyno for a regular appointment, and they tell me that, if I want kids, I have to start trying RIGHT THEN or it may never happen. 

It’s scary. It’s been happening about once or twice a year since I was 16/17. Not often, but often enough to really freak me out. 

Post # 10
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I also worried about infertility with absolutely no evidence pointing to that. Really, my main issue was that we waited until I was 29 to try so I thought it might take longer. I got pregnant our second cycle trying and I’m 26 weeks now. You’re young! Try not to worry just yet.

Post # 11
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@cdenise89:  It’s crossed my mind, but I don’t really worry about it. For your own sake, you really should talk to a doctor about your concerns so they can alleviate your worries.

There’s like zero reason to expect you might be infertile. You’re also really young so it’s not like you even need to worry about it taking a long time for you to get pregnant.

Unless there’s something you’ve left out of your post, your fears sound pretty irrational to me. I’m the queen of irrational fears so I get it… but logically you’re just working yourself up for nothing.

And worst case scenario, if you can’t have your own kids, you could adopt. It’s not like you MUST be child-free. I am pretty sure you’ll be fine, though.

Post # 12
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have this fear too! 7 years ago, when I was 18, I was raped by my best friend and got pregnant. I went through severe depression, cried all night, slept all day, never went to any of my classes (freshman year of college), and I ended up miscarrying. Of course, when it happened, I considered it a huge blessing (I still do)! 

I’m almost positive that I miscarried as a result of either my depression, or constant praying to God, telling him that I wasn’t ready and to please help me deal with the situation.. But now that I’m engaged and  about to get married and plan on eventually starting a family, I fear that “what if” I miscarried because I just couldn’t carry babies well… 
I’m sure I have nothing to worry about. There are no health issues or history of inferility in my family… but I can’t help but panic a little inside. i think that when we get to a point in our lives when we’re so passionate about starting a fanily, we tend to worry…  

Post # 13
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@cdenise89:  I had the same fear!  These days there are so many people struggling with fertility issues that I thought I would too.  My sister, SIL, and friends have gone through these issues in the past year:

  • miscarriage, baby deceased at 9 weeks, extra chromasome
  • D&C, ectopic pregnancy
  • IVF
  • trying for 3 years+

I too was on ortho for a very long time.  14 years!!  That worried me a lot too.  I really thought that it would take awhile for us to get the BFP but it didn’t happen that way.  We didn’t really TTC until we had been married 5 months.  I started charting in November and got PG in November.  Everyone is different and you are still young enough that you have plenty of healthy eggs.  Don’t cross that bridge until you come to it.  Worry about getting a ring and than the wedding first.  Enjoy where you are and don’t worry so much about the future. GL!

Post # 15
652 posts
Busy bee

@cdenise89:  try not to stress or worry about it. stress itself can do a lot of damage to your body and gets your body out of whack. Last thing you need is stress 🙂 

Post # 16
44 posts

I could have written this post myself. I too have no reason to believe I will have issues. 

I just started having this fear, and I know that none of my friends have even thought about infertility. After reading about all the bees who have struggled I can’t help but think that could happen to me. 

I know I cannot control any of these issues, yet I still find myself reading infertility blogs, etc. Which only makes the worrying worse. The only thing that helps me is reading about all of the ladies on the boards who get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Smile

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