(Closed) Constant Fighting

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

What are the source of you’re arguments? Are they over things being done with the other person? Or is it something else?

Please explain? 

Post # 3
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2026

I was in your situation, so I know how you feel! Fiance and I constantly bickered over texts (not the phonecalls though) because I would misinterpret what he said. He is much more cool-headed and distant through texts though, so I think I have a reason for my reactions!! Anyway, what really helped was me moving in with him and us just being around each other more than we are apart. Some people may say it’s never a good idea to move in with someone you don’t seem to be getting along with, but it worked out for the better for me! Being closer wasn’t the only thing that changed, of course–I also controlled my temper. I used to get mad over petty things but now I just let it go. If it isn’t someting worth arguing about, why even argue? I think one of you needs to learn how to back down and look at what is important and what isn’t. If it is an issue you both need to discuss, then discuss it; don’t yell at each other or accuse each other over it.  

Post # 4
Member
10093 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Agree with PP. What are the fights about?

Post # 6
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

pancakesandcupcakes :  are you guys long distance? If phone talks are a no go, I would switch to texts or FaceTime/Skype. We used to fight on the phone for no reason while we were long distance, mostly because he was distracted and colder (time difference probably played a good bit in that, he was just starting his day while I was already finishing mind so we weren’t in the same mindset). Having a visual and being able to see each other’s facial expressions definitely helped 

Post # 7
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s really easy to misinterpret what people write in a text. I can understand reading a question about his career and him wondering what you meant — particularly if he’s already sensitive about the subject. You might want to keep “real” questions for telephone or Skype, and stick to sweet nothings when texting. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Me and my Fiance have an argument ‘safe word’. When we feel like we are having a stupid argument one of us will say it and the other will say it back. It’s our way of saying ‘I love you, what a stupid fight this is’.

May sound silly, but it works for us. We are both argumentative people. 

Post # 10
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

When Darling Husband and I lived an hour apart we noticed we were very often taking things the wrong way over text or phone calls, it’s definitely hard when you can’t hear tone of voice or see the person’s facial expression. We never argued when we were together. We noticed the problem and vowed not to overreact to anything but to simply ask for clarification, which definitely helped. I think what you’re going through is normal, but for me personally I would not accept him calling you names, that’s simply disrespectful.

Post # 11
Member
12 posts
Newbee

When me and my SO were long distance we would argue alot. I think it was because a lot of communication is body language and facial expressions. So, many arguments went way out of proportion because there was miscommunication. Long distance can be hard so maybe try switching it up with Skype, Facetime, text, email, etc. 

Post # 12
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

littlebuzz :  hey that’s a really good idea! I’ll add it to our repertoire of ‘white flags’ to signal the end/disruption of the fights…

Post # 14
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

In a previous relationship, we fought occasionally  on IM and phone but never in person. It was because I’m such a non-confrontational person that I didn’t feel comfortable talking about certain issues in person. Do you think this could be the problem with you and your boyfriend? 

Post # 15
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

pancakesandcupcakes :  Seems like he’s over sensitive my hubby was like that in the beginning. You guys should talk about it in person and maybe like PP’s have said make a safe word for when you think you’re having a silly argument.

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