Post # 1
Ok, this is kind of embarrassing and I had to create a new username because it would be too mortifying to post under my usual name.
Anyways, my fiance and I have issues with having sex. Well, mainly the issue is me. I get urinary tract infections nearly /every/ time we do it. I take six cranberry pills a day, pee after sex and take all the precautions. I still get them. FI hates it because I am constantly on a course of antibiotics. He hates condoms and we have to use them all the time because antibiotics interact with BC. I literally get to use my BC for what it’s worth about 7-12 days out of each month before I get another UTI. It’s like clockwork. FI washes his hands before the deed, does not do oral of any kind, ever (because his mouth would surely give me one) and doesn’t even bring his hands down near that area for fear of a UTI. All of these things in the past have created UTIs.
I’m literally at my wit’s end. I don’t want to have sex, and I’m starting to fear it. I am now associating pain with sex because peeing blood never feels good. I have had bad kidney infections from letting the UTIs go unchecked. Kidney infections are fatal if not treated. My doctor has offered the idea of taking an antibiotic before the act. I would need to take an antibiotic everytime, no matter what, to prevent a UTI. There are two problems with this.
1) Fiance hates condoms and complains already about them. He doesn’t like the idea of having the short window he is allowed to not use them get taken away and
2) I’ll essentially be on a course of antibiotics for the rest of my life. I worry about building up an immunity to them. I know I am on them once or twice a month for a week or so already, but to take them every time before sex? I’ll be on them essentially far more than I am now.
These are my choices. I can continue as I am now or go for the constant antibiotics. These UTIs are breaking down our relationship as I want to have less and less sex and he wants to just have sex but can’t because I won’t. It isn’t fair. Not only that, our health insurance will be up by the end of this month because he switched jobs and now doesn’t have health insurance. What should I do?
Post # 3
First, I am so sorry that you are going through this! What about him washing his penis with soap & water before sex each time and you wiping with a wet wipe each time before and after? I would imagine that doing that would kill or wash away whatever stuff is causing the UTI on either of you.
Post # 4
Oh man that sucks!
Have you had kidney ultrasounds to make sure you don’t have a big stone in your kidney that is seeding all of these infections?
Second, have you thought about a copper IUD? The antibiotics wouldn’t interfere with that at least.
Post # 5
The copper IUD seems like a good semi-solution. I would also maybe go to a specialist to see if there are any other options/diet changes/etc?
Also, maybe a therapist or sex therapist? you have a very valid problem and your husband doesn’t seem super sympathetic. That in itself would turn me off and make it harder for me to get in the mood… it is kind of a growing problem.
Post # 6
Go talk to another gyno to get a 2nd opinion. Seriously.
Also, I 2nd socalmeli’s suggestion of a hormone-free IUD, unless you’re planning on trying to get pregnant soon. Unaffected by antibiotics, and your Fiance wouldn’t have to use a condom.
Post # 7
I went through the exact same thing. I chose to take the antibitoic every time afterwards. I am on macrobid which is not a broad spectrum antibiotic so less immune build up and the intereaction with bc is not has great as it is with the penicillins, the doctor I went to said he has not had anyone get pregnant while using it. So, that’s on option for you. I’m hoping to try again after awhile to not take the antibiotic because we have been dating for 4 years, no problems for 3 and then boom UTI pandemic for a year. So, I know how frustrating it is but I honestly think taking the antibiotic is a much better solution for your health and your sanity!
Post # 8
I thought I was having recurrent UTIs. They were debilitating. I finally got an appointment with an urologist. Best. Decision. Ever. After doing long term antibiotics that did nothing, we discovered that it was an inflammation problem not a UTI problem.
Have you been to an urologist yet? They might be able to tell you where or why you are having problems.
Post # 9
A few things…
I used to have this problem and was caught in the same pattern. I went to a doctor who said certain food and drink could irritate and make the problem more likely. I eliminated alcohol, caffeine and spicy foods for 2 months and it made a huge difference. After that I reintroduced those items but try not to overdo it. They didn’t go away completely, but became MUCH less frequent.
I think you should talk to your fiance about being more sympathetic. Using a condom isn’t the end of the world. Does he understand how incredibly painful UTI’s are?
Antibiotics before sex are a common treatment for severe UTI’s. I wouldn’t rule that out.
Post # 10
I agree with @ama0219:, I would see a specialist or at least get a second opinion. As another bee mentioned, it could be a kidney issue instead, too.
Until then, I’d make showering part of the warm-up to try to get as clean as possible. I’ve heard that peeing before and after really helps, and as someone else stated, a wet wipe (front to back) will help you get clean afterwards as well. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I have a close friend who is a UTI pro, she’s got a whole ‘routine’ that goes w/ sex now, and while it’s not so romantic all the time, it saves her from days of pain.
Also, I agree with @CorgiTales:. Your Fiance really needs to start thinking of your health needs as more important than his sexual wants, at least for the time being.
Post # 11
If they’re happening that frequently they may not be UTI’s. I have a condition called Interstitial Cystitis which is chronic inflammation and ulceration of the bladder. Like @ama0219 I was finally diagnosed by a urologist after seeing several doctors over years. Even though the symptoms are similar to a UTI, acidic foods and drinks, especially cranberry juice aggrevates the symptoms even worse. Unfortunately sex makes it worse too, especially if I’m already having a painful day. I would see another specialist if I were you and get a second opinion.
Post # 12
You have received some good suggestions here. I would also eat a lot of yogurt. The active cultures help to prevent them.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
That does not sound fun at all. But here’s my contribution to the solution. Antibiotics are exactly what the name implies (anti = against, biotics = of or having to do with living organisms). While they do kill the infecting germs and such, they also kill white blood cells, because they don’t differentiate between the good biotics and the bad. Since you have to take antibiotics so often, your immune system has probably become extremely depleted and this is causing you to be more susceptible to UTIs. What you can do to try to rebuild your immune system is go on a Candida diet. This sounds icky, but it works. I was on it for years because I was pumped full of antibiotics at birth to keep me from dying and the antibiotics killed my immune system causing me to easily get sick and constantly contract Yeast Infections. (These have stopped now.)
While on the Candida diet you should also take acidophilus pills (I always take them in capsul form). Acidophilus is probiotics and will help your white blood cells replenish themselves. You should be able to get it at any store that sells pharmaceuticals. I often get mine at Wal-Mart.
What you could also do is try seeing a naturopath about it. There are many homeopathic remedies that are excellent when the regular medical system fails. Many people are against naturopaths, they think they’re ‘quacks’. But I have recovered in ways that the everyday medical world never thought would happen because of naturopathic remedies. I highly reccomend trying it out. It can’t hurt you to give it a try, and you seem to be struggling with your regular doctor.
Post # 14
My husband is just getting over a kidney infection (related to UTIS).
1. Take Apple Cider Vinegar (doesn’t taste amazing but it works) every morning. You need the brand BRAGGS (or at least the raw kind, there’s another type but you need the unprocessed stuff). This will really help you!
2. Go to one of those health places that sell vitamins (they should also sell the apple cider vinegar) & say you have reoccuring UTIS & ask what they recommend. They use natural anti-biotics, most anti-biotics from doctors are man-made, the health ones are naturally occuring so they shouldn’t mess with your body/ birth control.
3. If you’re taking a lot of anti-biotics you really should be taking pro biotics. What anti-biotics do is kill all bacteria. If you’re on anti-biotics often, you really need “good” bacteria to help fight infections. The health place should direct you to the right stuff. Just like they say eat yogurt for the bacterial cultures to help your immune system, except yogurt has nothing comparred to the probiotics, you’d need to eat like 1,000 yogurts a day or something to compare to probiotics!
4. This will be gross, but take 2 shots of olive oil & 2 shots of lemon juice. My husband took it & all his pain went away almost instantly. He says its horrible, but he was so desperate he tried it & he’s EXTREMELY glad he did.
I can tell you Darling Husband took a pro-biotic, colloidal silver (500ppm), kidney blend vitamins, cranberry vitamins, apple cider vinegar & then the olive oil & lemon juice & now he’s better. He took all of that (aside from the olive oil/lemon juice) every day for about a week. Every day he felt a little better. After a week he felt almost 100% & then he ate things not good for him & he had kidney pain. That’s when he found the olive oil & lemon juice shot home-remedy & it took all his pain away very fast. He still is taking the other vitamins just so he can fully recover. We never saw a doctor. It cost probably $70 for all the vitamins, but it was cheaper than a doctor visit. I HIGHLY recommend this.
Feel free to PM me if you don’t know a health place & I can probably find one in your area using google (just need to know what town or zip code you’re in). Or if you have any ?s about anything I said or other home remedies. Hope you feel better!!
Post # 15
Oh, Oh, Oh! I am so happy I came across your post because I have the answer for you. Seriously! I had the exact same problem, over and over and over again. Get a product called Clear Tract. You can get it at the health food store. It works! It’s amazing. I took it for two weeks straight (although I felt better within 2 hours of taking it) and no more UTI’s. Once in a great while I’ll feel one coming on, and I just take Clear Tract again, and it’s gone, gone, gone! It’s pretty expensive but sooo worth it.
Get off the antibiotics. Seriously. They only make the bacteria stronger and you’ll never get rid of it. There are other name brands with the same ingredients but some of them don’t work as well. ClearTract works the best, I think. GOOD LUCK.
Post # 16
@ama0219: Please talk more about the inflammation issues! My urologist appt is at end of May and have major issues that I don’t usually talk about. The idea of going on constant antibiotics-that’s scary!