Contact with opposite sex – your perspective!

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 106
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

itsachickenwingthing :  You don’t go out solo with women anymore either? Why not? You don’t have any meaningful one on one friendships? That sounds so lonely. I love my husband and I love the couples and groups we hang out with…but I need me time too. I need friend time. 

Post # 107
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019 - City, State

My opinion is likely an unpopular one, but my SO and I will not hang out alone with a member of the opposite sex, unless it is a public setting and there are very clear boundaries. It isn’t that we don’t trust each other, but temptation can happen anywhere and anytime. We don’t want to put ourselves in any situation where anything could happen. And sometimes the appearance could create problems. However, with your situation, I would have been upset just the same as you were, but I would just move on from it and talk with him. Create clear boundaries and talk calmly. If he hasn’t ever given you a reason not to trust him, give him the benefit of the doubt on this one. 

Post # 108
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I would be fine with my fiance getting together with a group of women, but one on one maybe not so much, even if it was a coworker. I trust him completely but I think I know myself enough to know that it would piss me off, even it was irrational so let’s just aviod it completely.  When I was single I used to go out to lunch with my married coworker pretty often, I never thought it was weird but now when I see these types of posts I wonder how his wife felt about it (she and I are actually friends now).

Luckily for me, my fiance and I work at the same company and in our office location I’m the only woman lol. 

Post # 109
Member
2219 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I would think it was so weird if a male coworker left a work-related group get together because the other male coworker couldn’t make it. I would also totally judge his girlfriend or wife for thinking such a meeting was inappropriate.

Men and women can interact as acquaintances in social situations without anything else being read into it.

Post # 112
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

In my opinion you owe your fiancé an apology he was honest with you from the very beginning. Every two months my husband has a meeting at work which usually runs two hours sometimes co workers will go out and unwind usually for two hours and it’s once every two months. Sometimes I go but sometimes I choose not to go and he spends time with co workers there’s a mix of males and females but trust and honesty is the basis in any relationship just apologize to him

Post # 116
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Glad to see you were able to work things out, OP!

Post # 117
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

 

This seems okay to me. Especially that he was expected to be there and while he was there, he made good professional contacts and conversations. He did nothing to make you or your marriage feel threatened.

Post # 118
Member
676 posts
Busy bee

llevinso :  I haven’t experienced being lonely a day in my life. Lol. And yes. I have meaningful relationships. 

Me time=alone time actually. Having no siblings and preferably introverted I have little understanding of what loneliness feels like. 

So reverse of you I am dying for a day off from all the couple events and people in general since I have been attending constant events for a month straight. Just want to sit on my butt and stare at the wall for a minute with no one there. But thats just me. 

Post # 119
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

aussietux :  My Fiance hangs out with female coworkers all the time.  I hang out with male coworkers all the time.  If we didn’t it would really hinder networking.  And yes, getting to know people from other departments is important.  Sometimes you need help from another department and it’s good to establish relationships.  I’ve gone to lunch one on one with men at work before.  It’s not a big deal. Fiance and I  are very secure with each other.  The only time I would get mad is if he wsn’t upfront with me about it. 

I also am friends with a lot of his coworkers.  Actually a lot of time I find out the office gossip before he does.  He knows most of my coworkers as well.  We intergrate in each others lives, but still take time to do our own things (I’m don’t go to his music nights, he isn’t interested in my art nights). If anything, if Fiance goes out with his coworkers, I’m only disappointed if I can’t come.  It’s not a fight though,  Ijsut pout a little, and then make plans with other friends. 

You husband wasn’t alone, there where 5 women there, and another man was supposed to come.  Also, he left after only 1.5 hours.  That is like, the bare minimum time to stay out with coworkers without being rude.  He was very considerate, and didn’t hide anything.  He was a toal gentleman.  I am sure the ladies didn’t mind when he left either, because who doesn’t love an impromtu ladies night!

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