Post # 106
itsachickenwingthing : You don’t go out solo with women anymore either? Why not? You don’t have any meaningful one on one friendships? That sounds so lonely. I love my husband and I love the couples and groups we hang out with…but I need me time too. I need friend time.
Post # 107
- Wedding: February 2019 - City, State
My opinion is likely an unpopular one, but my SO and I will not hang out alone with a member of the opposite sex, unless it is a public setting and there are very clear boundaries. It isn’t that we don’t trust each other, but temptation can happen anywhere and anytime. We don’t want to put ourselves in any situation where anything could happen. And sometimes the appearance could create problems. However, with your situation, I would have been upset just the same as you were, but I would just move on from it and talk with him. Create clear boundaries and talk calmly. If he hasn’t ever given you a reason not to trust him, give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.
Post # 108
I would be fine with my fiance getting together with a group of women, but one on one maybe not so much, even if it was a coworker. I trust him completely but I think I know myself enough to know that it would piss me off, even it was irrational so let’s just aviod it completely. When I was single I used to go out to lunch with my married coworker pretty often, I never thought it was weird but now when I see these types of posts I wonder how his wife felt about it (she and I are actually friends now).
Luckily for me, my fiance and I work at the same company and in our office location I’m the only woman lol.
Post # 109
I would think it was so weird if a male coworker left a work-related group get together because the other male coworker couldn’t make it. I would also totally judge his girlfriend or wife for thinking such a meeting was inappropriate.
Men and women can interact as acquaintances in social situations without anything else being read into it.
Post # 110
We can all relax – I apologised and all is good!
Post # 111
happybridetobe1988 : You can make your point clear without being snarky and making fun of who’s asking for opinions.
Thanks to everyone who gave their point of view, in a kind way, even with some tough love, but without being snarky. I agree with some of you and don’t agree with others (not having male friends for me is extreme), but it doesn’t matter because I don’t judge any opinion. As I said, I have apologised and talked this through and things are fine. I am still puzzled by some reactions, not sure what people are trying to achieve by ridiculising others.
Post # 112
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
In my opinion you owe your fiancé an apology he was honest with you from the very beginning. Every two months my husband has a meeting at work which usually runs two hours sometimes co workers will go out and unwind usually for two hours and it’s once every two months. Sometimes I go but sometimes I choose not to go and he spends time with co workers there’s a mix of males and females but trust and honesty is the basis in any relationship just apologize to him
Post # 113
SmilingMrsD : He is a decent dude 🙂
wolfeyes : I totally see your point. Although this wasn’t a meeting or gathering with people from the same department so what they talked about has 0% to do with work. It was just an informal gathering to have a few glasses of wine and chat after work. Which doesn’t make my reaction any more appropriate, just giving context!
Post # 115
pearl311 : FFS, thank you. I thought like “wait, let me read again. What did I write?”. I feel like what I’ve done is like waiting for him to come home to give him his bags, kick him out and change the locks. I honestly appreciated all the people telling me to apologise but some others, man, what’s the problem exactly? I even told him I seeked for an outside perspective here, because my girlfriends tend to be biased. He said he really appreciated me seeking a perspective elsewhere, and he actually apologised back and thanked me for being honest. So it looks like even if I had a moment of insecurity, the world didn’t end.
Post # 116
Glad to see you were able to work things out, OP!
Post # 117
This seems okay to me. Especially that he was expected to be there and while he was there, he made good professional contacts and conversations. He did nothing to make you or your marriage feel threatened.
Post # 118
llevinso : I haven’t experienced being lonely a day in my life. Lol. And yes. I have meaningful relationships.
Me time=alone time actually. Having no siblings and preferably introverted I have little understanding of what loneliness feels like.
So reverse of you I am dying for a day off from all the couple events and people in general since I have been attending constant events for a month straight. Just want to sit on my butt and stare at the wall for a minute with no one there. But thats just me.
Post # 119
aussietux : My Fiance hangs out with female coworkers all the time. I hang out with male coworkers all the time. If we didn’t it would really hinder networking. And yes, getting to know people from other departments is important. Sometimes you need help from another department and it’s good to establish relationships. I’ve gone to lunch one on one with men at work before. It’s not a big deal. Fiance and I are very secure with each other. The only time I would get mad is if he wsn’t upfront with me about it.
I also am friends with a lot of his coworkers. Actually a lot of time I find out the office gossip before he does. He knows most of my coworkers as well. We intergrate in each others lives, but still take time to do our own things (I’m don’t go to his music nights, he isn’t interested in my art nights). If anything, if Fiance goes out with his coworkers, I’m only disappointed if I can’t come. It’s not a fight though, Ijsut pout a little, and then make plans with other friends.
You husband wasn’t alone, there where 5 women there, and another man was supposed to come. Also, he left after only 1.5 hours. That is like, the bare minimum time to stay out with coworkers without being rude. He was very considerate, and didn’t hide anything. He was a toal gentleman. I am sure the ladies didn’t mind when he left either, because who doesn’t love an impromtu ladies night!