(Closed) Contacting the Ex Wife…

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Sounds pretty good to me.  I’d remove this line

", you remember the address I suppose, if not let me know." 

That’s the only part I think could be taken as kinda not nice.  If she wants to mail them to you and doens’t know the address – she’ll ask.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I don’t know if you should be the one to ask…….its a hard call.

have you ever spoken?  does she know you- does she know you are getting married.  Is she the type to fly off the handle?  Will this instigate drama?

Please let us know how this turns out 

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I feel for you.  Except in my case, there are tons and tons of FI’s ex’s things left at his house.  He does talk to her, he just doesn’t care to very often.  But there is no way all that crap is getting moved to my house when we sell his.  So we have decided it all goes in Hefty garbage bags, and we will let her know a week in advance that she can pick it up Saturday, or we will haul it to the Goodwill/Landfill on Sunday.

There are also stacks and stacks of pictures – mostly of her, although sometimes her and him, sometimes her and the kids.  They are mostly pretty crummy pictures as well – faded and blurry.  We are going to go through them and pick out any nice ones of the kids or his mom, dad, and brother, and then tell his daughter (20 yrs old) that she needs to pick out any photos she wants of her mom.  And then the rest will go to the landfill as well. 

Weirdly enough she acts really friendly to me when we run into each other (like in Starbucks).  One day she came over and talked and talked – I was with my dad, and he was a little upset, asking why I didn’t introduce him to my friend.  I had to explain how she’s actually not my friend…

Anyway, good luck with the pictures.  Better to get stuff like that straightened out now – actually better that they got it straightened out before now, but you know what I mean.  Let me know how it goes!

Post # 7
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Yikes, I’m not sure I’d send the letter at all and maybe just cut my losses.

If you do send it I’d make sure there is no mention of being the future Mrs. S- like not mention a wedding or needing it for a wedding (which you didn’t the way it is currently drafted)

Also I’d brace myself that she might not respond as she wants nothing to do with Mr. S and maybe not anyone associated with him either. 

If you’ve sent it already let us know what happened . . .

 

Post # 9
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m glad she’s being nice.  My FI’s ex is actually really friendly towards me.  However, even though in her case she is also the one who cheated, and refused to give up her boyfriend, since Fiance ultimately kicked her out of the house she somehow feels wronged.  I think she mostly misses his paycheck – she sure doesn’t seem to miss the kids.  Anyway my point is that although you would think she got what she wanted/deserved, in her mind she somehow got dumped on.

Good for you though if the two of you can have a civil relationship.  Sure makes things easier if you can email or talk when you need to, even if you (obviously) aren’t ever going to be the best of friends.

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