Continue ttc or go back to school

posted 7 months ago in TTC
  • poll: Go back to school or continue ttc?
    Go back to school : (14 votes)
    33 %
    Keep trying! : (28 votes)
    67 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2694 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m gonna say apply for uni and stop putting life on hold for TTC. 

    It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant with my son and I changed jobs during that time because I was so unhappy with my work. And you know what, I fell pregnant naturally just after my 1 year anniversary at my job and so would qualify for our enhanced maternity pay.

    sods law says that by apply to school and accepting your journey might be longer, you’ll fall pregnant. 

     

    I would say don’t stop trying though. Yes, move forward with things, but don’t put the goalie back.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1405 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

    I would apply for the program and see what happens. keep TTC and if you fall pregnant, yay! If not, you’re pursuing your dream career. Neither situation is bad. good luck

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    You can always change jobs without going back to school. Going back to school for a lower paying job doesn’t sound like a smart idea to me (and I’ve done 8 years of post secondary education). Not to mention if you have to take out student loans for this program that will hinder your financial situation when you do have children because you’ll be paying them back. 

    How badly do you want kids? If it’s not a priority for you then go back to school but if you’ll regret not having kids for the rest of your life or regret not continuing ttc and having kids is high on your priority list I wouldn’t stop ttc.

    post secondary education will always be there, your chance to have a baby will not. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you got pregnant during the course would you be able to defer it not quit?

    Post # 6
    Member
    9667 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    I would only quit TTC if you’re okay with possibly not ever having children. If that’s a no, then I would continue doing whatever you can to have children. But you can also pursue school as well!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee

    baybeecakes :  You do realize that all the Bees are going to say what they would do.

    Me personally, I would not quit TTC to go back to school for an even lower paying position than I have now.  But that’s because I work to live, not live to work.  Having a family is more important to me than having a career, and that’s going to be different for every person that gives their opinion.

    And if you have a job already in a field that your degree is not in, then you can find another that you may find more fufilling without spending the time and money on more schooling.

    Post # 9
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Personally, I would not go back to school to what sounds a lower paying + alot more demanding job? That is not a smart idea to me.

    I understand that being passionate is important but there needs to be a cost benefit analysis here and it sounds like alot more in cost column then benefit.

    Kids are expensive, what if you have to do IVF how will you support/pay for that only on your husbands salary? Can you afford your child or more than one on your lower salary or will it seriously decline your lifestyle..

    Since you say alot of weekend/night work is your husband okay covering all that or is that extra cost for nanny you will need, if you work all this overtime are you okay missing all this time with your baby? Weekend time would be crucial family time to spend with your husband and baby.. 

    I work in a high stress career but it also brings in a very good income so luckily my passion is paying off, I do work alot of extra hours however my weekends are free so when me and my husband do start a family I know i will be available all weekends even if I have to miss bedtime sometimes..

    Just things to consider.

    Like i said i completely agree that passion is important but life and children are expensive and sometimes passion needs to be compromised for reality.

    All the luck to you bee

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    9596 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

    Hmm. Will you accumulate debt while in school? If yes, then I wouldn’t even bother. Losing your benefits, losing time for interest accumulation on a 401k, taking a pay cut, and then having to pay back loans to boot? Nope. If no loans and no cutting into savings, then MAYBE I would entertain the idea. To be fair, I’d say like 80% of people don’t love what they do, but they do it so they can support their family. 

    Having a new job with a reduced wage and more hours working will only take away from your future family. I would keep the job you have now, and don’t give up on TTC. Maybe apply to the program and see if you get in. If you do get in and you think it’s worth it, do both.

    Post # 11
    Member
    876 posts
    Busy bee

    I went through almost 4 years of infertility treatment before getting pregnant with our first. So my perspective comes from having been in part of your shoes before.

     

    If I had reached the point where I was at peace knowing we might never have children, then I would say apply for the program and pursue your dream career.

     

    If I still desperately wanted kids, this program (and career) does not sound great for family life. I’m not sure why you couldn’t take a mat leave during the program? My friend just finished her PhD and took 2 maternity leaves over the course of her program. Plus, a job that requires lots of OT, nights and weekends will leave your SO single parenting a lot during times that are traditionally family time. If he works a 9-5, you’ll barely be home at the same time with your kids. Plus, I’m pretty much never a fan of more schooling for less pay. I changed careers after I had kids. I had to find something  with less travel so I could be home with my kids as much as possible while still having a career for my sanity.

     

    Maybe there’s a middle ground? A career change that doesn’t involve putting TTC on hold for 2 years (in your precious 30’s!) and a pay cut with worse hours?

    Post # 12
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee

    What is the schooling/career that you are looking to go into? I went to school for a two-year program and I though I would love it but it really sucked. Do you know people that are in the field that you want to go in currently to ask their opinions on it? 

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    250 posts
    Helper bee

    I am TTC and have applied to go back to school this year. However, the program I’m hoping to get into would lead to a better paying job and more stable hours. My current job requires rotational shiftwork, including weekends/holidays/overnights as you described. It’s tough! Although lots of professions require shiftwork and many people find a good work-life balance, I’d recommend thinking it over carefully first if you haven’t had that type of schedule before. I am debating as well whether I’m willing to accumulate more debt by going back to school (this would be my second Master’s degree), or if I should focus on trying to find a better job with what I already have. Meanwhile, I am not planning to stop TTC as Darling Husband and I have agreed that it’s our top priority right now. If I get pregnant while in school I’ll apply for a deferral.

    I hope that helps … I am all for pursuing your dreams and I think education is invaluable. Less money and a difficult work schedule might negatively affect your quality of life though, and I wouldn’t stop TTC for it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    607 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    If you have been trying for 2 years unsuccessfully you are classed as infertile. Do they know why? A woman’s age is a key indicator in relation to success of fertility treatment and starting at 32 would usually be better than starting at 34, although everyone is different and the statistically significant age for fertility to drop is often said to be 35.

    If you definitely want a baby I would do that now. If you’re ambivalent and would be ok if it didn’t happen then you can choose to go back to school. Or of course as others have said you could go and keep TTC if you are prepared to drop out if you get pregnant. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Even if TTC was not in the picture, I am not sure that going back to school for a lower paying job with evening, holiday hours is a good idea. Even if the work itself is your passion, a difficult boss or other circumstances could lead to you being unhappy. 

    Consider first what job you could get with the education and experience you already have. People put themselves in a box and think that they are only eligible for a narrow range of jobs based on the degree or experience  they have.

    I regret obtaining a master’s to get me into a low paying field with the crazy hours you describe. I am now doing a job I like that I  could have gotten with my bachelor’s. I also regret not trying to conceive earlier as it turned out to be too late.

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