Post # 32
Thanks for all of the support! I was actually a bit nervous when writing this thread because ring discussions can sometimes turn a bit nasty but am so pleased that everyone has been really supportive and constructive.
Just a bit of an update. My SO and I had a really productive ring discussion and he said he would not feel comfortable with me contributing 50% but that I can contribute 25%-33.3% (which is really fair). We are going to look at rings/loose diamonds later on today and I am super excited! We wont purchase anything today because he wants to just get an idea of what I like and then do the rest himself. He said it was really important to him that he gets to do a big fancy schmancy proposal so I guess I am getting the best of both worlds.
Thanks again for the support!!!
Post # 33
I’m glad you ended up talking to him about this and came to a conclusion you could agree on.
Post # 35
@JhbBride: If he cannot afford it, and is okay with you helping pay for it…..I say go for it. I know it is not the traditional thing to do, but I don’t see any problems with that.
Post # 36
My Fiance and I both chipped in 50% with the ring. We thought it was only fair. And my ring isn’t even that expensive (about £1040, or $1400). He proposed to me and we bth chose the ring afterwards. Both of us share the finances with everything else too (if he pays for one date, I pay for the next one etc). Most modern relationships are based on a 50/50 mentality, so why this shouldn’t extend to the engagement ring baffles me
Glad to know all ended well with you though OP!
Post # 37
I helped contribute to the cost of my rings. because I’m sweet like that. I certainly didn’t have to, but it was a very large amount of money and I realized I wanted to get exactly what I wanted and it turned out to be higher than what Fiance budgeted. Had I not got what I wanted, I would have been devastated. So i helped so it would be a compromise. Fiance could have easily afforded it all on his own, I just didn’t make him do that. and he didn’t argue! He is happy I’m happy.
Post # 38
@JhbBride: just have an open conversation with him about it.
My story: my Fiance had left his job and was unemployed for a few months. But we were talking engagement. We had 2 choices: wait- so that when he did become employed, he could save up- on his own- for my ring- OR, since we had already combined finances entirely at this point, he could use any of our joint money (which is everything)- and buy my ring- which is what he did. He waited until he was employed again, and working for about 2 months- and then went and got my ring. Granted, my ring was not too expensive, but it’s still the same idea.
He wasn’t super gung-ho about the idea at first, but I explained that we had already combined finances, so it wasn’t much different anyway. We are also a little bit older (he’s 35, I am 33) and the only thing holding us back from being engaged was a ring. So it didn’t make sense to wait.
Post # 39
I didn’t contribute to my e-ring, but I did contirbute to my wedding band (which the groom typically pays for). After talking about it, he was fine with my contribution 🙂
Post # 40
I might be a little late posting, but I think you should contribute to get the ring you want! The ring my fiance first purchased was special because he picked it out himself and paid for it, but it’s not the ring for me. I will cherish it forever but he promised a new ring when we get married. Therefor we are going to pick out a ring for me, he knows that I want an over the top style and he also wants to buy me the ring I want but can’t really afford it but together we can! So I say go for it, especially if your Fiance agrees 🙂 You deserve it! He will be happy that you are happy!