Post # 1
My fiance and I have known each other, and dated off and on, since we were 16 we are now 23. We have been engaged now for over a year and are getting married in 4 months. A few months ago his parents told him that they wanted a pre-nup to protect his inheritence and to protect him from my student loans. This soon followed by a very heated “conversation” between his mother and I, where she told me the only way to prove my love for him was to sign the prenup. I proceeded to tell her that my fiance is the only one I need to “prove my love to” and then walked out. Since then we have hardly spoken, but they continue to push the prenup on us. They are not contributing a dime to the wedding but they do have a lean on his car and threaten to take that (among other things) if I don’t sign it. I have a problem with the prenup for several reasons: first of all I told him before we got engaged that I would never sign a prenup. A marriage is about love not a business contract, at least in our case. In the state I live in it is a community property state, meaning that in the event of a divore his inheritence remains his, my inheritence remains mine, and any debt acquired prior to the marriage (student loans) remains seperate. So basically in our case it is pointless. On top of this they want us to fork out $600 for an attorney to draw one up! I think this is way out of line! So since the stress of it all has been getting to both of us we decided to get a $25 prenup online, fill it out, and the day after the wedding we are dissolving the prenup. I just want to know that I am doing the right thing, and how I should handle his parents if they push on wanting a copy of the prenup or wanting to force more on us. On top of this they are throwing a fit because his little brother, the best man, has to pay for his own tux rental! They have had a year and a half notice on this wedding!! Help!
Post # 3
wow-none of their business! and I would have Fiance talk to them and say the same.
Post # 4
Oh my gosh! I would be so offended if my Future Mother-In-Law did that. This is between you and your Fiance, NOT his parents!!!
Post # 5
I suggest that if both you and your Fiance are in agreement to not do one at all. By doing the $25.00 one, you are just feeding into what they want. You are two grown adults and can make your own decisions. Speaking as a parent of grown children, it is none of their business how you live your lives. They should want only what is best for the both of you, and live by your decisions. That doesn’t mean they have to like the decisions, but since you are both grown they should support you in your decisions. Your Fiance needs to have a serious talk with his parents and set them straight; without you around.
Post # 6
Well, any pre-nup you sign (and it has nothing to do with not loving each other), should be looked over by YOUR lawyer as well to make sure that it protects the BOTH of you. Not just him. Also–marriage by it’s definition IS a business contract.
That being said, if what you are saying is true then they are out of line. What does your Fiance say to them? If there’s any argument about it it’s between him and them, not them and you. Is he a man or a little boy? They’re threatening to take his car away? He clearly has let them control him in the past, and it’s continuing. Red flag.
Post # 7
I am with the PP’s … I think that you and your FH are grown-ups, and if you are that against a pre-nup don’t do one, not even a $25 dollar one. This is just showing them that they can manipulate and control you and this will continue on throughout your lifetime with them. It is time to stand up, and be strong. Stand up for yourselves, even if they try to make it hard for you.