- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2009
My sister in law and I have never really gotten along. Although, we have similar interests are personalities are really different. Despite the fact that I don’t like her in general. I have always been nice to her and have made efforts to be “friends” and cival. I am an only child. So I really do want a good overall relationships with my in-laws.
With that being said, my SIL makes it hard by always being negative. She isn’t just negative towards me she does this with her siblings too. If something is going well for them, she immediately has to put them down, or give reasons why they shouldn’t do that. She espescially does this if they are doing better in an area of life, she may not be doing as well in (as she’d like. her life is perfectly fine). I think this has to do with her being an older sibling. They tend to want to control their younger siblings and be the first to accomplish things.
Anyways. My SIL has always taken her dislikening me to a whole new level. She sent my husband a long text about how much she hates me and even, tells my Mother-In-Law to “enjoy time with your new daughter”
(this is all a nicer/shorter version of the issues we have had with her)
Recently, she got engaged. I am very excited for her. Her fiance is a great guy and honestly I am excited to have him as a fellow Inlaw. My husband is in the wedding and I am not . Since, we don’t get along I am fine with this. Although, she was in ours. Now I am getting texts from her asking what I am wearing to the wedding. I showed her some options and she told me she’d prefer I wear something else. They are too similar to the bridesmaids dresses, she says. (I have seen the bridesmaids dresses, they aren’t close to them in any way) She starts making more excuses… and saying she has dresses for me and all that jazz. Apparently, her main problem is cause I will be in family pictures and she doesn’t trust my style.
through this process I politely hinted to back off. Towards the end though I made it clear. I was going to pick my own dress.
What gets me is why does she care what I wear?! I generally, wear conserative clothes. Especially to family occasions, and although this doesn’t really matter. My dresses are all designer. So it’s not like they are out of style either.
Anyways, I guess my question is. Am I in the wrong for telling her to back off?
If I was part of the wedding party I would understand, but I’m only in photos and hell, I’m shocked I am even in those. Also, it isn’t like I will actually take away ANY spotlight from her. It is HER day no one but my husband will care what I look like.. So why should she? Also, if she were maybe genuinely nicer to me (cause I am to her) I would maybe, be a little more complicite but I think I should at least get to pick my own damn dress.