- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2011
So my other new husband and I have come to blows over our first thing. It is nothing too serious, but still very frustrating!
We received an invite the other day to his cousin’s wedding. I have never met this cousin, nor have him or his fiance made any kind of effort to see us in the 3 years I have been in the country. We offered to come visit them on a few occasions, but they were always ‘busy’.
As a perfectionist I may be passing harsher judgment than anyone else, but their invitation was horrific. I don’t expect anyone to be as detail-oriented as I am, but it was sloppily printed, horribly cut (crooked rough lines), and messily mounted on an ill-fitting piece of card. There was no RSVP card, no other information – just a brochure from a travel agent asking us to donate to their honeymoon tackily shoved in with the invite (don’t even get me started on how appalled I am at this!!).
Right – so tackiness of the actual invite aside, let’s get to the meat of the argument …
Their wedding is taking place on a Thursday, at 2 in the afternoon. Yes, a Thursday that does not back onto any holiday weekend. A Thursday in the middle of the afternoon in a city that is a 3 hour drive from where we live. I know a lot of people in this country have weddings on a Sunday or sometimes (rarely) a Friday because it is cheaper … but a Thursday?! My husband and I have used up almost all of our holiday days on wedding prep, our own wedding, and our honeymoon. We do not have any spare days to spend attending this wedding for people I have never met and he has not seen in over 3 years.
What really makes my blood boil is that they stated on the invitation that men must be in tuxedos and women in cocktail dresses or they will not be admitted. Seriously?!?! 2 in the afternoon, on a Thursday, in the middle of August, and they (who cannot even spend an extra 2 seconds cutting straight lines for their ‘formal’ invitations) want us in full-on evening attire?!?!
I’ve told my husband I do not want to attend their wedding for all of the above reasons. His argument is that it is their day and they can choose to do whatever they want for it. I do not agree. I find it incredibly inconsiderate of them to pick a day in the middle of the week and expect people to take at least one day off work to attend.
His reubuttle is that we chose to have our wedding in another country which is ‘inconsiderate’. Fair play – but we did not invite them to our wedding, and we are having a reception (on a Saturday) in this country to celebrate with any guests that may have wanted to come, but were not able to.
My husband is upset because this is the first ‘event’ we should be attending as a married couple together, and I am bowing out of it. I told him I would support him if he decided to attend, but told him that I cannot go as his date. Am I being totally unreasonable in not wanting to attend? Should I bite the bullet and throw my [strong] feelings aside to be a supportive wife? Or is this couple as out of line as I seem to think they are?