(Closed) Controversial Wedding Invitation Received … don’t know what to do?!

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

Sorry, I don’t think they are out of line. Weekday weddings are quite normal over here and as for the invites, well each to their own. I agree with your Fiance – it is their day and people who care enough to see them marry will deal with having a day out of work.

Post # 4
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Bite the bullet.  Be at your new husband’s side as he attends his family event with his lovely new wife.  Welcome to marriage, sister!

Post # 5
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you can feasibly do it with vacation, I’d say just bite the bullet and go. All your reasons above are legit, and to be quite honest I’d be curious as to how the wedding day would actually pan out, but choose your battles wisely. If your FH really wants to go, then do it for him.

Post # 6
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Um wow, I think you are overreacting just a bit. If you don’t want to go, then don’t, but I feel that the reasons you listed are awfully poor reasons not to attend a wedding that your husband wants to go to. Sorry, but I am siding with your hubby on this one. Besides, it will give you an opportunity to meet family that perhaps you have not met yet=)

ETA: I also think it’s in poor taste to judge people so harshly for their invitations. Perhaps that bride slaved over them for hours or maybe she had a friend do them for her. I know we really cheaped out on our invites in order to put money towards other things that we felt were much more important to making our day special and enjoyable for our guests. Geez.

Post # 7
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

What do you mean by your “other new husband”? But I wiould have to agree with

View original reply
@Button:. If people want to attend, they will. My friend’s wedding is today, but because I want to be there for her (as obviously your husband does) I am taking off to go. I don’t totally understand the formal attire part, but oh well.

Post # 8
Member
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@peacheslea: Other new husband? I’m not sure why you are upset. People have weekday weddings all the time. It’s not an etiquette no no. The people who want to be there will be there. Everything else about straight lines and the poorly crafted invite is just a personal hang up for you. There is no rule stating that you have to spend a fortune on invites. They could have sent note cards with the info on it and it would be considered an invite. You are being a wifezilla, so stop it. It’s not like they sent you their bank account numbers or paypal info and said “Deposit here or don’t come to the wedding.”

Post # 9
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yeah I think you are being a bit unreasonable. Your husband is right its their day just go and have fun with your husband 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1058 posts
Bumble bee

I think you should go, even though the invitation was sloppy. Maybe they DIY’d the invitations you never know. Even if the venue is really fancy some people like doing things themselves.

I do however think the donating to the honeymoon request on the invitation is SUPER TACKY, but to each their own I guess. lol be thankful you at least have some class not to do something like that.

I think going to this wedding will show them that you are making an effort and maybe you might have fun and you might actually be glad you went because even if they are a bit tacky they might be nice people.

You could even throw $20 toward the honeymoon fund and be done with it. haha

I say yes go!

Post # 11
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@peacheslea: If your husband wants to go, then go. I am sure they have their reasons for planning it on a Thursday. It’s not really that uncommon anymore.

Post # 12
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The last wedding invitation I received was a simple shop bought card with our names handwritten on. Plus a poem asking us to donate to their honeymoon fund and a print out of a google map. Admittedly, it’s from one of my close friends so of course we’re going! But my decision to attend a wedding would never be based on the quality of their invitation! If you don’t want to go because you’ve never met them, then fair enough, but not because their invitation was wonky…

Post # 12
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@peacheslea:  I don’t mean to be johnny raincloud, but weddings in the middle of the week are sometimes a necessity.  I had to get married in the middle of the week, well, it was a Tuesday…so not exactly the middle, but you get the point. lol  I’ll always be greatful to those who were able to come to our wedding because I know it was not an easy situation to take time off for a mid- week wedding, around the holidays no less (when I’m sure they would rather be traveling elsewhere).  In the end, your DH is right.  It is their day.  A wedding is always going to inconvenience someone.  And try to look past the things that you did not like about their invitation.  I don’t agree at all with the honeymoon donation they’re asking for (I agree that it’s tacky), but honestly, I DIY’d my invites and after reading your review, I”m terrified that someone critiqued mine as harshly as you critqued theirs.

Post # 13
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

While all of this is probably very annoying and inconvienent to you (and probably other people) I agree with the poster above that they aren’t out of line at all. I think you should attend with your husband graciously and set aside any issues you have with inconvienent date, time, and attire. If you honestly can’t get time off work thats a different matter entirely. Although, I think your husband has made it clear this is important to him, and that should matter most. It might look poorly on you to his family if you do not attend together.

Also, I think you are being very harsh about their invitation. Just because their invitation does not meet your standards does not mean they didn’t spend time and effort doing it. And so, the registry thing is a little off, but I think we can safely say there are tons of good intentioned people who stick registry information in their wedding ivitaions (out of the 3 I have gotten this summer, 2 have registry information in them…I’m over it. Plus it saves me from having to look it up!) I sincerely hope that my family does not criticize my invitations the way you have theirs. I had did all my invitations, the lines are as straight as I could get them, some are probably crooked, but I did my absoloute best and the invitations are a reflection of us. So please, go a little easier on them about the invites. Its just an invite.

I know it sucks, but sometimes (or often) family is invonvienent and you just have to smile, and form good relationships where we can.

Post # 14
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Sorry, but you sound like you are on one hell of a high horse. I can understand not wanting to attend for missing work or pay, but most of your reasons are super petty (not to mention mean spirited).

If it is important to your husband, just go. It’s his family.

Also, I think you are getting way too worked up over this.

Post # 15
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Come on, don’t be that girl. Go smile and be gracious, then you can roll your eyes when you get home.

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