(Closed) Controversy, hulk rage, and the death of empathy (*music*) da da duuuummmm! ;)

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with the fact that everyone, no matter who they are, come from completely different lifestyles, backgrounds, cultures, perspectives, opinions, foundations, etc.. and that this can most definitely affect how somebody responds or reacts to a situation.

With that said, I just wanna say that I respect what you’re saying here, and think it’s something I myself will need to ponder on…

Thank you, for taking the time to write this. 🙂

Post # 4
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree.  But there is also been a few bees recently posting posts, asking for opinions, setting up one of the poll options as “no, it’s a bad idea”, and then when the overwhelingly majority of respondents click “no, its a bad idea”, having a go at the bees for making them feel like shit.  I took issue to this and said it was unfair, as did a few others, and suddenly the OP is like “can someone flag this for me”?  Think same goes if you ask “am I being a brat?”.  Those are THEIR words, not ours.

I agree with what you’re saying but it goes two ways.  If you dont want honest opinions, and want people to just go “that looks amazing” maybe don’t upload polls with multiple answers and complain when you dont get the answer you want.  🙂


I like knowing I can get an honest opinion here.  If somethings crap, I want to know.

Post # 5
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

OP – I wholeheartedly agree with you that everyone here is coming from different situations and different backgrounds. At the same time I feel that if people can’t handle differences in opinions, they shouldn’t be posting on a broad public internet forum.

I’ve been on WB since the early days and I’ve seen it evolve a lot. Sadly to say I see a lot of lack of empathy but at the same time I see a lot of bees on there looking for attention/wanting to brag/not truly caring for differences in opinion but only want to find more bees that “side with them.” I personally have found this place to be too full of rainbows and cheesy hugs at times. I’ve seen bees post things that request “your honest opinion” and then get butt hurt when some stranger tells them that they don’t like it.

Call me for sounding elitist but I liked the WB from a few years ago. Nowadays bees are being attacked for personal choices left and right.

Post # 6
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I agree with everything pointed out by OP and feel like since the drama of last weekend, things have only been getting more and more insulting around here.  I find myself being more and more disappointed in the name-calling and holier than thou-ness of many posters… Even myself at times Embarassed

Post # 7
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Lets face it there are times when a disagreement gets heated for personal reasons, misunderstandings etc and then there are times when drama is invoked on purpose.  There are many bees that are here to have fruitful and thought provoking discussions and yes a disagreement may occur but then there are others that feed off of the negativity. I think in the end we just have to keep our heads up and try to avoid the drama if possible and continue to enjoy the site for what it is worth.

I don’t think WB should be as the PP mentioned all rainbows and hugs but I also don’t think we should lose sight of basic decency as well. Having an opinion is one thing but outright shaming and judging those that think, look, live differently is another. I am more than happy to agree to disagree with people.


Post # 8
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really think our sense of community has been shaken.  

1. Because of the discovery of the Bee with a criminal past.

2. Because of the way it was handled, and the lack of percived “fairness” and “transparancy” around it.

I for one feel less like a valued community member here now, and more like a mere “user”.  To a certain extent I feel like the Management/Ownership team of WB doesn’t care about my experience, as long as their behinds are covered from scandal, and we keep clicking on their banner ads.

Perhaps this is contributing to the devolution of the compassion and empathy displayed here.

Post # 9
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@claireos:  Its funny, a couple of days after the whole dramapocalypse, I was home during the day and saw the Katie Couric show – she did a whole segment on how nasty the internet is. They attributed it to a combination of mob mentality and the anonymity provided by “usernames”.   Its certainly a depressing state of affairs that people enjoy going on the internet to trash fellow human beings, but the validation-seeking that leads to a lot of the “controversy” is almost equally sad/annoying.  The combination of all of these things can be explosive. Anyone who brushes it off with statements like “mehhh its just the internet” is in denial – people have commit suicide over this stuff, lost jobs because of it, had to move to different schools or states because of it.   Its not a joke.  I’m not sure what can be done about it though. As evidenced by what went on here last week, people are rarely willing to acknowledge their contribution to this problem, only when they feel victimized by it. 

Post # 10
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@anahappilyeverafter  +1million.

There have been loads of posts lately with bees asking if something is okay, tacky, a good idea, a bad idea, or is this correct etiquette. Many even have polls. 

But when people give their honest opinions—which they were asked to do—if it’s a negative one, they get bashed and/or reported. Then, the OP comes back to say something along the lines of: “I dont’ care if you mean people don’t like this—it’s MY wedding, I’m going to do what I want.”

Why bother even asking for opinions? Are they posting just for attention? It’s almost like these posters know it’s in bad taste, are going to do it anyway, and just want valiadtion from a few bees who would never say anything bad about anyone’s ideas. It kind of undermines the validity of getting honest feedback. 

The topic ‘Controversy, hulk rage, and the death of empathy (*music*) da da duuuummmm! ;)’ is closed to new replies.

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