Post # 1
Ok, long story short. My hubby and I have been together 1 1/2 years before we got married. We had planned for a nice Catholic wedding and reception but life happened and we needed to get a ‘legal’ courthouse thing done. My hubby have gone through all the convalidation prep including marrital mentoring. The priest and mentoring couple told us to go for the wedding we wanted; hubby and I have been planning for quite some time now. The problem we are having is the Mother-In-Law is not happy with us having a ceremony, saying it’s not appropriate because we are already married in everyones eyes; she has taken all the fun out of the planning process and makes me feel guilty about it even though this is something hubby and I (especially hubby) want. We are not asking for gifts, insane bridal party or help paying for it; we just wanted to celebrate with close family and good friends with no more then 40 people. We still plan on having the white dress and suites but for the wedding party, it’s just going to be hubby and I, our two girls (baby boy will still be too little), and two of our favoite couples (best friends). What’s your opinion? Is this innappropriate?
Post # 3
Keep this in mind, if SIL was in my position, Mother-In-Law would have no problem with the convalidation ceremony. She’s not very fond of me if you get my drift.
Post # 4
No it isn’t inappropreate, your Mother-In-Law is the one out of line.
Have the wedding you want, if she gives you grief tell her you are renewing your vows sacramentally to make your marriage a sacrament.
I assume she is Catholic? if she is still having issues have her talk to the priest.
Post # 5
I think it would be fine! When Darling Husband and I did ours, we had a very small group with us and then had a nice dinner afterwards. This was only 2 years after we had our larger wedding though, and we just wanted to keep it very small.
Do what makes you and Darling Husband happy.
Post # 6
What are her objections? My Mother-In-Law wasn’t Catholic and she thought it was weird that we were doing it. She said we were already married and the church should just accept it. After all the work, stress and time we had invested into being able to FINALLY get married in the church, I was really happy to celebrate though.
Post # 7
Thanks for your opinions! Much appreciated.
Mother-In-Law is Catholic andher only objection is having a nice ceremony and reception when we are already married and that it’s not appropriate.
Post # 8
First of all, it’s great you’re getting married in the Church. Congrats on that.
Second I’m sorry you’re dealing with this situation. If your priest is fine with you having the white dress etc and you want it, that’s all that matters. There HAS to be a ceremony, it’s called the convalidation ceremony for goodness sakes. At my parish they DO discourage convalidation brides from having the veil, bridal party, walk down the aisle and so forth, but I think that’s because they try to encourage people to do the church wedding to begin with.
If it helps you can mention to her that Princess Grace was married “at the courthouse” so to speak the day before her wedding to Prince Ranier… that’s just the way they do it in Monacco. Granted it was not a convalidation ceremony and it was the next day but I think it’s relevant. The Church does not consider you married in the true sense of the word if you are Catholic and all you’ve got is the piece of paper from the government. You are getting married in the eyes of the Church, that’s worth having a celebration for. I mean this is not your second blow-out wedding.