- 9 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
Hi there! I’m new to Wedding Bee, and I’ve been lurking for a little bit trying to see if somebody has asked the questions I’m wondering about.
My husband and I had a civil ceremony in November of 2008. We got engaged in July of that year and he was scheduled to deploy to Iraq in January 09 for anywhere between 9 months to 18. We agreed that we wouldn’t have our wedding until he returned from his deployment. We were both raised Catholic so we knew it was going to be a church wedding.
When we got engaged, I let my mother and my best friends know. They knew I was planning on leaving Guam, where I was from, to wait for him in Kansas, where he was from. After a little while, they sat us down and let us know that they were worried for me being alone in a place I had never been and that I wouldn’t be taken care of, as the military doesn’t recognize girlfriends or fiancees.
So we talked about it with each other and agreed we would have a small civil ceremony with our friends and my parents, and when he came home, we would have another small catholic ceremony for his family and his friends back in Kansas.
He came home in January of this year, thankfully the deployment was just 12 months instead of 18 and our Catholic ceremony is on July 23 of next year. I learned that our type of ceremony was called a convalidation and that it was different from a traditional wedding. We asked the priest who is supposed to be doing the ceremony what it all entails. He has never done a convalidation so he’s not sure how it’s done and he asking other priests, we are still waiting to hear back from him.
The ceremony and reception is going to be very simple, but not small–the guest list is almost 250 because he has a HUGE family and there are many friends of the family. The decor is going to be minimal and no-frills. It’s just basically going to be the church blessing our marriage and a huge get-together with family and friends after with a friend of his as the DJ.
The thing is, I would love to have bridesmaids and groomsmen–his sister and cousin, and a friend I made while I was in KS; and his best friends and brother that he hasn’t seen very much in 6 years. Overall, it’ll be a party of 8–my Maid/Matron of Honor, his Bridesmaid or Best Man, and 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen. None of them were able to be there for our civil ceremony and I would love to include them. Our flowergirls will be his sister’s daughter and a young cousin that he’s very close with.
As this isn’t a traditional wedding, I realize that bridesmaids, groomsmen, and flowergirls aren’t really necessary. I just want to do this in a semi-traditional way because his family was there for me while he was deployed, and none of them were able to be there for the civil ceremony. We don’t want an elaborate, all-out wedding just because we couldn’t do it the first time. I’m not getting a huge, elegant, and expensive dress–it’s not really my style anyway.
This ceremony is really for his family and to have our marriage blessed. We’re not expecting gifts and I’ve even told his family that they shouldn’t get us anything because we’ve been married for over 2 years. I love them–they basically just told me to shut up. =)
I’m just wondering if anybody can point me in the right direction to look for a simple dress. And if anybody can give me their thoughts on our “bridal” party. I’ve asked the priest all of this, but I’m not sure when he’ll get back to me and we have just found out he might be transferring that month.
I apologize for the novel!! And thanks to anybody in advance who answers. =)