- 6 years ago
Hi everyone, first post here.
I’m 33, never married, have a 6 year old and my boyfriend is 44 with an 8 year old, both boys who get along great.
This is a VERY new relationship. We are only 6 weeks in. We met on match.com and I stated in my profile that I want a man who is interested in marriage and another child. I have always wanted 2 kids and would be elated to have one more child.
My boyfriend wrote me on match and while I was floored by what we had in common, along with mutual attraction/interests, it stated “probably not” to wanting more kids. I thanked him for contacting me, but I want another child and it looks like he’s done having children. Yet, he convinced me to go on a date with him. I literally had nothing better to do that day so I agreed to date him just for fun, while pursuing a man who matches my goals.
Um… so this is where things get crazy. We were so attracted to each other that our date lasted until 3 AM. It was nearly impossible to stay away from each other. He asked repeatedly for a second date. I said no, because of our incompatible goals regarding children. He said he won’t completely rule it out if the situation is “right”. Long story short, we were intimate and in an official relationship within 2 weeks of meeting.
Right now, I almost never think of my wanting another child. I am in love with him. He said “I love you” 3 weeks in, after telling me on our first date that he isn’t ready for love or marriage due to scarring from his divorce in 2010. Well, it looks like 3 weeks later, things are way different. He loves me and believes I am his soul mate. I also think so. He’s read me his journal, written a song for me, and the sex is positively mind-blowing for both of us.
Again, marriage and children are something I rarely think about, which puzzles me because I was all about finding THE guy to marry and have another child with. When I think of our future, I think of just loving him and meeing his family, etc. I am meeting his mom next month who lives out of state. I am getting close to his son and seeing our boys play together brings both of us intense joy.
I keep telling my friends to talk me out of this relationship. I am living in the moment, and really truly happy. Happier than I was with my last 4 commitment-phobic exes. As a yoga instructor full-time, I am trained to breathe, relax and not project into the future. But I am wondering if this mindset will lead me to serious disappointment when I am finally ready for marriage and baby, and boyfriend tells me “no”. He said on our first date that marriage is the last thing on his mind. But that was before we fell in love.
I’m rambling, but is it possible to meet someone who is not into marriage/kids… only to have them change their mind a year or two in when they meet the right woman? Or should I just believe what he says and move along… thankful that I only invested 6 weeks?