Post # 32
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Cutting the cake is the first act that the bride does as the female head of household in the new family that has just been created. She cuts the cake to serve to her guests and fulfills her role as not a daughter helping but a wife performing the duties of a hostess. Supposedly, men started to help and the couple would cut together because complex pastries and wedding cakes required the extra muscle so that new husband would come to the aid of his wife and they would share this first duty together. (This could all be nonsense, but that’s the supposed evolution of cake-cutting.
If you don’t want to do it, don’t. It’s not required.
Post # 33
I was going to skip it until we spent about $500 for a big nice one, if we’re spending that much on the darn thing we sure as heck are getting pictures next to it! Lol. Personally I was fine with a pie table or a sheet cake.
Post # 34
OH wow! Girl..I understand. You guys should run off and elope. I would completely do that if I were you. I think I’d rather suffer the aftermath and have them get over it (or not..) than have to be in that awkward environment. You’ve got guts for even considering going through with it to appease the other side given the situation. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, and that is all there is to it. You are a better person than I am for it, because I can tell you for 100%, if that were my situation, I would not be having a wedding at all. At one point we were going to elope and film the whole thing and then have a “reception” when we got back to show everyone the video. You guys don’t have to do this for anybody.
Post # 36
Interesting. So do you happen to know where the “shoving of the cake in the other persons face” came from?
Post # 37
oooh bravo for the explanation! love it
I would totally do it but I don’t mind the attention…
I can see how you might feel like a puppet but they are close family and friends so I wouldn’t really worry about having all eyes on you… its a celebration centered around you anyway!
Maybe have cupcakes like the others suggested… but don’t feel like you have to.
Post # 38
@MRSsrm85: I know exactly how you feel. I hate being in the spotlight and was pressured (by my dad, whom I adore) into having not only a wedding, but a big wedding.
I’m not sure if this has been suggested yet, but could you do the cake cutting unannounced? Like kind of off to the side without any of the guests even aware that it’s going on? That way you can get a picture of it, your Future Mother-In-Law can witness it, but you don’t have to be “in the spotlight”.
We’re having our first dance and the cake cutting unannounced, just to appease the people who insist that we do it. I think it’s crazy how important these small traditions are to some people (who aren’t even the ones getting married)!
Post # 39
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I have no idea, but I don’t like the cake shoving. We didn’t do it. We nicely fed each other like grown adults (feeding each other… because grown adults do that all the time
Post # 40
I just wanted to say that I am so similar to you! All this wedding hoopla just makes me nauseous. I’m the person who sits in the corner talking to 1-2 people whenever there is a party, which unfortunately makes people think I’m an antisocial bee-yotch! (My FH even got annoyed because I was “sitting in the corner and talking only to my friends” at his birthday party. I didn’t want to get in the middle of the giant group of his loud, drunk friends! Awkward!)
So this whole wedding thing to me seems like a terrible party where I have to try to mingle with everyone from a 95 year old grandma, to my snarky aunt, to my mom I haven’t talked to in three years PLUS all of his friends who I feel uncomfortable around. I feel like I’m just going to be the center of a giant spectacle and I don’t want everyone looking at me and telling me what a ~beautiful bride~ I am. 🙁
Post # 41
Aw sorry! I am the same way.
I’m finding the weddings tend to not be about the couple but everyone else. I wish I could elope but FH refused because he doesn’t want his mom to resent him so I resent him instead. Although, I had a near death experience today (a car was 5 seconds from hitting me because it swerved into the cross walk in order to not hit the car in front of it as hard. Luckily a construction worker stopped me to ask me for my phone number and that distracted me for the five seconds) that made me realize that I am right – we should have eloped long ago – because either one of us can die at any moment. Okay, okay, I just like proving to him why I am always, or at least just usually, right.
Post # 42
lol!! You are very expressive with the way you write lol
Post # 43
@MRSsrm85: I too would say not to do it unless YOU truly want to!
Cake cutting was one of my favorite parts of our reception. It took probably less than a minute, allowed us to show off our beautiful (and too expensive!) cake, and we got some of my favorite pictures. I chose a great song and really had fun with it.
Just remember, people aren’t staring at you to judge you, they are there to celebrate with you on your special day. Also, they are probably just waiting to get a piece of cake.