Post # 1
We got pregnant on our first try and I was beyond excited. I’ve been through a lot over the past few years… I lost my Dad suddenly almost 4 years ago, and my Mom passed from cancer a month before we conceived. We felt like we had something positive to focus on, and I was so thrilled. The pregnancy was pretty uneventful, and we were really looking forward to our first ultrasound at 9.5 weeks. While visiting my family in MI (DH was not with me), I started spotting. I was immediately worried, but thought there could me lots of reasons why, so I tried to be positive. After it continued for 2 days, I went into the ER with my sister where they confirmed the baby had stopped growing around 6-7 weeks (I was supposed to be 9). I stayed in the hospital that day and had a D&C that night. I was devastated, and it was the worst day of my life. This was 10 days ago. The day after I flew home to be with DH, and I’ve been feeling pretty good physically, but I’m emotionally broken. DH has been great, but I just feel so empty. I never thought I’d be writing a post like this. If anyone can share their stories, advice, support, I’d really appreciate it. How was it trying again, etc. I just feel lost.
Post # 3
oh dear, I am so sorry. big internet huggs for you!!!!
Post # 4
I guess all I can say is that from a scientific standpoint, about 10-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, and those miscarriages tend to be caused by chromosomal or other disfunctions that would not have allowed the embryo to survive. Over 80% happen before 12 weeks. It’s a blessing that it happened so early, in a weird way, you know? The development of a human being is an incredibly complex process – it’s amazing that more doesn’t go wrong more often!
Post # 5
Hey there, hugsssss!!
I’m sorry to hear about what you went through. One thing for sure though, you WILL get through this and you WILL conceive again. I’ve heard that chances of miscarriage is very high in the first trimester thus most of mums to be are tight-lipped about their pregnancies until they are into their second trimester. I’ve also heard it’s easy to conceive again after a miscarriage. Perhaps you could take this time to strengthen your body, especially your womb by taking nutritious food/ tonic, take pre-natal vitamins etc, in hope that you will conceive a healthy foetus with a strong heart beat.
I agree with crayfish
it is a blessing that it happened in the early stages. A very dear friend of mine went through 2 miscarriages. In her 2nd pregnancy, her little prince died in her at 5months as she contracted gestational diabetes (despite having warned the gynae about it before she contracted it but the gynae did not pay attention) Imagine her pain when she eventually gave birth to see her baby dead? She has since switched gynae and is trying again. What I’m trying to share is, situations could have been worse. So, cheer up, try again!
Post # 6
@MCC919: I don’t know the right words to say. I wish you the best and my prayers are with you. Its the weekend, try to get out of the house sweets.
Post # 7
@MCC91 Sending you (((hugs))). I had a mc in April 2001 at 7 weeks,its heartbreaking and you have to give yourself time to grieve your baby and be kind to yourself. There is nothing you could have done,it’s Natures way of taking care of things so please try not to play the “what ifs” over in your head. I know I did.
Try and take care of yourself and let DH take care of you too. Give yourself time to heal. I promise you it will get better. I conceived in the August and delivered a healthy baby boy in May 2002. When I look at him I’m so glad I got this baby if that makes sense. A friend of mine lost her baby at 16 weeks and I remember her telling me this too,you can be sad for the baby you lost but you will be more thankful for the baby you will have.
Post # 9
@MCC919: Oh honey, first off, I’m so, so sorry. I have been where you are and it is devastating. My MC happened in February at around 8 weeks pregnant. Mine was considered a blighted ovum (where the fetus never forms), and it is one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with emotionally. However, you will get through it! I did 🙂
Make sure you take time to grieve and heal properly. Maybe a little you time where you go pamper yourself. For me, I cried a lot and it helped. Instead of keeping all my feelings inside, I leaned on DH, my mom, and my sisters for support. It really helps to talk about it.
We took a month off from trying after the MC (per the doctors orders) and became pregnant again the next month. I am now 23 weeks pregnant with a health baby girl. Take as much time to heal as you need and start trying when you feel ready. A lot of people say that after a MC, the only thing that makes you feel better is becoming pregnant again. While I still think about my first baby and what could’ve been, I focus on the fact that more than likely, that fetus would have had chromosomal abnormalities and that was my bodies way of letting me know.
MC are so hard emotionally and mentally, but there are so many of us on the boards who hAve been there and can offer you support, including myself. Feel free to PM me ANY TIME! Best of wishes 🙂
Post # 10
Thanks everyone…. the support on here is amazing:) I’ve been off the Bee for the past 2 weeks, just dealing with everything. I can barely deal with seeing preggo ladies and babies in public, so I kind of needed to go into hiding, I guess. But it’s getting better. It’s just a pain I’ve never experienced before, even though I’ve lost loved ones. I guess it’s different when it’s your baby, growing inside you.
Post # 11
Hello lovey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Lots of love to you. It must be a very hard time, and it is completely normal to feel sad and to grieve, just let yourself feel all the emotions you are feeling and talk to your hubby and all the supportive bees on here who have been through similar situations and understand. You will recover in time xx
Post # 12
I’m so sorry for your loss, you’ve had so much heartbreak. take care of yourself and let yourself grieve
Post # 13
I’m so sorry sweetie. ((((((((hugs)))))))))) Take your time to grieve for your loss and heal with DH. I’m sending lots of love and strength your way honey. xoxo
Post # 14
I just went through the same thing 2 weeks ago…our baby was supposed to be 10 weeks along, but I started spotting, went to the doctor, and found out that the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I miscarried that day, and it’s still ongoing.
I obviously have no great advice since this just happened to me too! But I understand what you’re going through, and I’m so sorry this happened. One thing I will say is that everyone grieves in different ways — just let yourself deal with the miscarriage the way that seems natural to you. Whether that’s talking with others, grieving on your own, whatever…it’s all okay.
I’ve heard from some ladies that it gets a little better with time, and with having a baby. I have my fingers crossed for that, but for now, I’m taking it one day at a time. Hugs and prayers for you…and PM me if you ever want to talk!
Post # 15
I personally have never lost a child so I obviously don’t know how you feel. There are no words that will make this ok with you or ease your pain but it seems that you must go through a sort of grieving process of sorts. I have watched a very dear family member of mine go through several miscarriages and she never gave up. She never got discouraged. Just focus on taking care of yourself physically and when the time is right, it will happen. Just have faith.
Post # 16
I’m so sorry, what a terrible loss. Sending many good thoughts your way. Please take care of yourself and be understanding that it takes time to mourn and that you will feel better slowly, but you WILL feel better in time. Everything you are feeling is normal. *Hugs*