Post # 1
I’m a regular hive poster posting under an alias. This went from being the best week of my life to the worst in just a few days. I found out I was pregnant on Saturday, and miscarried today.
We had been trying for a few months, but I was pretty sure I was not ovulating and definitely did not think I was pregnant since I was more than 2 weeks late and had tested at least five times. So, we were shocked and excited! Even told our families on mother’s day. But, from the moment I found out I felt like something was wrong…it seemed like I would have conceived VERY late in my cycle and I just felt very skeptical. Mother’s instinct or plain fear, I’m not sure. I took multiple tests over the weekend and instead of the pregnancy line getting darker it was getting lighter, so I thought something was up. I had some mild cramping over the weekend and a tad of spotting. I wanted to go in for a blood test today to confirm. This morning, I had moderate cramping and then heavy spotting. By the time I left the doctor’s office from my blood test, I was bleeding. My blood test confirmed low HCG levels (16 rather than in the hundreds or thousands…where I should be at 5-6 weeks).
Even though I’ve only known I was pregnant for a few days, I’m devastated. I can’t stop crying and can’t think about anything else. I feel silly for being so upset since I was so early on in the pregnancy. My logical self knows all of the reasons why people miscarry, that many women suffer through miscarriages, and that I will likely go on to have other healthy pregnancies. I can’t help but feel extreme grief and loss, though.
I am writing because over the past few years, I have come to the hive for advice and support and am looking for some now. I have family and friends that I can turn to and will. It just feels good to reach out to you all, too.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and no I don’t think you’re “silly” for being upset.
I wish I could say something to make that go away, but all I have is the same word I stand on…
I pray that God’s supernatural peace beyond understanding will meet you right where you are and overwhelm you’re grief. That you find comfort in Him and know that He has not forgotten or left you, but continues to use everything in His purposes for you!
Whatever you do… don’t isolate yourself or pull from your husband (or loved ones)…. keeping communication open is so important… so you two can grow more together rather than apart.. plus the enemy LOVEs to isolate us in our troubles… stick close to those who love you and let your heart grieve…. it’s in that pain that Jesus does AWESOME things!
*praying for you*
Post # 4
(((((HUGS))))) I don’t even know what to say, but I am so very, very sorry.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage last year and understand how awful it is. I miscarried at 6 weeks, but didn’t find out until 12. I don’t think it matters when you miscarry, either way you have a baby and you’ve lost it, even if it isn’t full grown. I cried for weeks after that. I would wake up in the middle of the night, bawling. It’s ok to grieve, you’ve just been through something horrible.
I had a rough miscarriage, I had crazy heavy bleeding and had to have 2 D&C’s, I think that helped a little b/c it took a while to get through it all so I allowed myself to be upset for that full amount of time. Plus, when you’re going through physical things you can kind of forget about the emotional. We started TTC the second my doctor said we could, and I got pregnant that first month. Now I’m 29 weeks, and still terrified that something will happen. People always say how common this is, but you still just don’t think it will happen to you, and it doesn’t make it any better that it did happen to you.
Again, I’m so sorry that you are going through this, if you want to talk more or have questions feel free to PM me!
Post # 6
I am so sorry. And no, there’s nothing silly about feeling so upset, it’s a hard thing no matter when it happens to you. I have to agree with pp about isolating yourself. It’s an easy thing to do, when I went through it, I told a friend, and told her to make sure that I poked my head up for air every few days, and it helped.
Again, I’m so sorry. Let us know if there is anything that you need.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Being pregnant touches you even if it’s only been a few days.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry. ((HUGS)) Just like you, I found out last year only a week before I found out I was going to miscarry. I was devastated. Like the poster above, I had a very rough miscarriage. (lasted 5 weeks, finally ending in a d&c) What I went through is highly, highly unusual, though. If you need to talk, please, please PM me. I went through it and know how what it feels like. Hang in there!!! ((HUGS)) Please PM me if you want to talk!
Post # 9
I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I have never dealt with miscarriage, but I can tell you that it’s my biggest fear. I would be the same as you if I lose my baby now and I’m only 7 weeks. B/c that’s your hope…it’s your child. There’s nothing silly about being upset for losing that.
Please be sure you take care of yourself. If you’re still feeling incredibly overwhelmed, it doesn’t hurt to talk with someone about your feelings. They are very valid, and please don’t think that they aren’t.
I’m praying for you that you can get pregnant relatively soon and that you make it through this really difficult time.
Post # 10
I don’t have anything to say to make you feel better, just wanted to say how sorry I am. It is devastating.
Post # 11
I’m so sorry for your loss. You have every right to be upset. Don’t at all discount your feelings; your loss is very real, and it’s ok to be devestated right now. I’ll keep you in my thoughts, winniewolf. Hugs.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kind words. I honestly have read and commented on posts like this in the past and just never thought I would be the one to write such a post. Thankfully, it looks like my body is taking care of this on its own…if one has to have a miscarriage, I think this is the one to have (ie, a very early one rather than one weeks or even months from now).
My doctor said that we will need to wait 1-2 cycles to start trying again. I was disappointed to hear that…and I think my eagerness to start trying again is a good sign that I will be able to heal and move on. I really am ready to be a mom.
Post # 14
I am sorry for your loss.
Post # 15
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I know the feeling all to well. Grief is a process that comes with a miscarriage. It’s so hard to understand how you can feel so much for something that was only there for a short period of time. It gave me a whole new perspective on life and if having a miscarriage that early on i couldn’t imagine the grief a mother must feel miscarrying later in the pregnancy or losing a child after birth.
Post # 16
You don’t need to feel “silly,” a pregnancy is a pregnancy. I hate when people don’t think it “counts” unless you’re into the 2nd trimester.
Take time to grieve, it’s only natural. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. <3