Coping with partner’s visiting family

posted 2 years ago in Guests
  • poll: How to cope with visiting family?
    Go on honeymoon straight after wedding : (8 votes)
    38 %
    Have two weddings, one in each country : (2 votes)
    10 %
    Opt out of all family activities : (8 votes)
    38 %
    Just try to enjoy it : (3 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1422 posts
    Bumble bee

    You don’t have to pick them up at the airport or entertain them. You are hosting them for one day and that is your wedding day. The rest of the time is your time.

    If you don’t feel like you or your husband would be able to tell his family that they will be responsible for their own entertainment and transportation and you feel like you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the wedding, maybe you need to rethink what it is you want from the wedding. The most important part is that you two enjoy yourselves and love the day. Don’t make yourself miserable for this

    Post # 3
    Member
    1870 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Why does having family visiting mean going to the airport every day for two weeks? Did they have 7 different people arriving and leaving on different days?

    You don’t need to waste your time doing that. If they come, organise for them to be picked up at the airport. Or tell them to take a taxi.

    My parents are travelling from Europe to west Africa for my wedding. They are flying to a neighbouring country and will even have to cross a border. Either I’ll be sending someone to meet them or they’ll do it themselves on public transport. They’re not children. 

    Can you give them a list of activities and then they plan their own time? Especially after the wedding? After our wedding we’ll go to the coast for a few days with all my family, before they leave and we go on honeymoon. But that’s our choice -if we’d wanted to go straight on honeymoon try would have dealt with that.

    Post # 4
    Member
    113 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2019

    Do A destination wedding and let those who decide to come figure it out and turn off your phone! Haha

    Post # 5
    Member
    4877 posts
    Honey bee

    It’s nice to be picked up but if I knew my host would be driving  down 7x I’d take a cab. 

    Talk it over with your to be husband. It should be a fun time for you two! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    13578 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Tell your Fiance that if they come, entertaining them is his obligation as you’re already going to be stressed over getting the final wedding touches completed. Like a PP said, give them ideas for activities in your area for them to explore, name some good restaurants for lunches, etc. Of course, make sure you plan time to see them as well, but don’t feel like you need to be around them 24/7.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3062 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Honestly, I think from the sounds of your post…really you should just consider maybe planning a nice destination elopement with just you and your fiancé. If both sides of your families are giving you this much stress and you truly feel unsupported, just make it a day for the two of you. I understand wanting to have an ideal day with all the families included but, if it’s going to potentially make the day nothing but stress for you, then you may need to accept that’s just not something that will work for you both. 

    Other hand, if you insist on doing it, then get the invitations out and leave it to them to figure out. Give them hotel suggestions, cab numbers, uber suggestion and stop putting more responsibility on yourself than needed. You are not obligated to put them up or transport them nor entertain them beyond the wedding. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    hallibee :  We actually ended up doing a tiny destination wedding/eloping for this reason. We live 4 hours away from the nearest major airport & would have had family flying in from all over the country. BEFORE we made this decision I put together a lil brochure and a website for our guests/family with links to nearby hotels/house rentals, car rental companies, good restaurants, and fun things to do/sight see so I wouldn’t feel the need to “host” everyone 24/7… That might be a good idea in your situation?

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