(Closed) Corsages and Boutonnieres… Who Gets Them??

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

If it’s just one sibling on each side that’s left out I’d just do it anyway. We’re having a very small bridal party. One moh, his two sons for best men. They’ll all get cor/bout. Also parents and our pastor. That’s it for us. 

Post # 3
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I never heard of aunts and uncles getting corsages and boutineeres.   Just parents, Grandparents and wedding 

Post # 4
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

I just did groomsmen and parents. Made them myself mind you. 

Post # 5
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

I would just do them if they are the only ones left.  Thy being said, they may not care. I’m doinga rents and grandparents. Groomsmen get buttoneers of their own and bridesmaids will have hand made bouquets 

Post # 6
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee

A gift of flowers signifies respect and fond regard. Gentlemen should routinely give corsages to the women they most highly regard, especially if they are escorting that woman out for a formal evening. So the groom on his wedding day traditionally sends corsages to his mother and his future mother-in-law, and — this comes as a surprise to most brides — he sends a bouquet to his bride for her to carry (no, that is not something she is supposed to have control over and choose for herself!) Given the “trope” of mother-versus-motherinlaw-versus-bride rivalry, I see this tradition as wonderful practice for the diplomatic balancing act the groom can look forward to through the first year of his marriage.

There are no limits on whom the groom may choose to show respect and love for in this way, but the wider the net, the less special the gift. Usually grandmothers are offered this high level of respect. It’s unusual to offer that courtesy to sisters; although a very much older, highly regarded sister would be the exception. Younger sisters, especially if they are being escorted to the wedding by their own young gentleman, should expect to receive flowers from their own peers (yes, I know, good luck with that! If only more male waiting-bees read these boards to learn what their obligations are, the world would be a more gracious — and certainly a more floral — place!) The groom wouldn’t want to put his adult sisters in the difficult position of having to choose between wearing his flowers, or wearing their husband’s or fiance’s flowers.

Boutonnieres are generally distributed a little more broadly. They are the bride’s “favour”, the sign that the person wearing it is acting in her honour. They go to every gentleman who has an official role in the wedding celebration — except the celebrant, who must be impartial. It would be odd to give your “favour” to someone who isn’t doing anything in your honour, but not improper.

Just to complete the tale of floral gifts, the bridesmaids’  bouquets are the gift of the bride’s father to show his gratitude to the bridesmaids for taking care of his daughter.

Post # 7
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Parents, grandparents, wedding party, and I think one for our co-officiant (DH dad was the other and had one)

Post # 9
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

letsdothis2016:  Not certain how to interpret that.  Perhaps an aunt or older sister who had a significant role in raising either the bride or groom, but that to me is not the unusual case. 

Post # 10
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Aside from the wedding party, we’re just doing parents and grandparents. We weren’t even going to do those until my mom made a stink about wanting one, but we’re having a very low-key wedding on a pretty small budget. I don’t think most people even expect them (unless they’re like my mother, haha…). 

Post # 11
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We are giving them to our parents (plus my step mother), grandparents and 2 of my FI’s sisters (who are not in the wedding party). Our celebrant has asked that he not receive one (not too sure why).

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