(Closed) cost issues

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 3
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

From you list I am only having:



hors d’oeuvres 

3 hours of open bar

a donation to a charity in lieu of favors



I’m going bouquets myself 

Post # 4
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

It is your wedding — none of it is required.  Our venue included passed hors d’oeuvres and open bar for the 1 hour cocktail hour, but only wine will be served with dinner.

We skipped on the chair covers (I always feel like I am slipping off the chair when I sit on a chair cover), I was going to skip the favors, but I found a pragmatic way to work them into our escort cards.

It has never been a tradition for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid dresses or shoes — that is a cost that the Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s incur.

are traditional, but they don’t have to be fancy.  We are doing very simple daisies. 

My venue includes a sweet table, so I originally didn’t want a cake, but my mom talked me into a small cake for the cutting.

We hired a photographer for $1200 (including our engagment session) and we are not doing a videographer. 

 So, the point is — do what works for you!

Post # 5
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I know a couple who for their wedding had two ice cream cakes from Dairy Queen… one had a bit of 1 Corinthians 13 (the love passage) on it, and the other had their names. It was cute.

But yeah, none of those things are necessary. It surprises me how many brides there are out there who believe that there is some sort of set of requirements or standards for weddings that they must live up to, and their ideas of what this must include is just ridiculous. Your wedding is YOUR wedding — period.

Post # 6
46 posts
  • Wedding: February 2008

Things that are needed for a wedding:

  • Two loving people
  • Someone to make it official

And…that’s it, in my opinion. Anything else is up to the individual couple in question. 

For myself, an open bar came with our hotel package, so we’re definitely going with that. Programs, centerpieces and naming the tables give me (and my mom) a chance to create things from scratch and show off my and my fiance’s personality. I love cake, and a family friend makes cakes for a living so she’s giving one to us at cost (only paying for the ingredients). And I love pictures, so we found a fabulous but economical photographer. I don’t NEED any of this, but they are all things that I want and have chosen to invest the time/money/energy into having. Other people think favors are worth the time/money/energy, or the makeup artist, etc and that’s great for them; it’s what makes every wedding unique!

Post # 7
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Hooray MsAnge!  I keep reminding myself of that – although in Washington we also need two witnesses(!) 

I suggest that you have only those things that are important to you.  We decided that a nice dinner, some good wine, live jazz by some local musicians we know well, and photographs of family and friends enjoying themselves (okay, and a few of us) are what is important to us.  Our venue is a place we eat lunch and dinner all the time; it’s not fabulous but it’s very nice and the staff are so excited to throw a nice party for us.  My mom insisted on the flowers, but we’re keeping them to a minimum, as our venue provides very nice decor.  And a friend is baking our cake – she just happens to be a professional baker.

I’m doing my own hair and make-up.  We’re not having any paper beyond the invitations.  No videographer.  No attendants, so no bridesmaid’s dresses and shoes and whatnot.  No chair covers; I had to make a special trip specifically to see what the chairs look like after I read about the chair cover thing, and I sit in them all the time!  That tells you how much people notice the chairs.  I know that some of these things are important to other people, so I don’t mean to suggest that they are meaningless, but really you need to decide what is meaningful and necessary for you, and go from there.  Don’t feel like you have to have anything that doesn’t mean anything to you.

Post # 8
13 posts
  • Wedding: July 2008

Hi. Nothing is really needed except you, your future husband, an officiant, a witness and a marriage license.  Nothing else is a requirement. 

Out of your list here is what I’m having… I’m a total DIY bride so I had a lot of time to do some bargain shopping….

make-up (person to do it for you) artist? : My cousin is a make-up artist so she’ll be doing it for me. I asked her about SheerCover and she’s used it before and thought it would be good for me.  I don’t want to look too "made up".  I’ve tried it and totally love it so I’m using that.  I got some lipstick and blush from Origins.. 

hair styist?

$25. My hair stylist totally rocks!!!  He’s a friend of a friend and has done the hair for many of her family for weddings.  I’ve been going to him for about 6 months now.


I’m providing my florist with terra cotta pots which are painted periwinkle.  She’ll be putting an arrangement of wildflowers (asters, lavendar, wax flowers, etc).  

o’dueves (i know i spelled it wrong)

Hor d’ourves: I have about 5 different types that will be passed around. 

open bar cocktail hour? –

We decided to have an alcohol free wedding.  The catering company was a bit pricey for soda/juice/etc so we stocked up on soda/water/juices/sparkling cider/non-alkie champagne/ice tea/ice cofee from Peets & punch…. 


open bar after cocktail hour?

See above


Only for the head table.. the rest of the chairs will be uncovered

Table seating name thing?

Yes, I bought card stock from the Paper Source and designed small, flat place cards with our motif on them… I’ll handwrite all the names…  Our Place Card holders are small terra cotta pots, with a rose in each and a wire curled to hold the card….


We’re giving each person the place card holders which after trhe wedding can be used to hold a wallet size photo — we’re going to be sending out wallet size photos of us.  We also have bookmarks that we made.  We printed a poem on cardstock and laminated them…

paying for bridesmaid dress/flowers?

I’m paying for the flowers but not the bridesmaid dresses…  

wedding cake?

I really shopped for a good price and taste… We’re having a 3 tier-cake with a Mickey and Minnie Bride/Groom cake topper and also some cupcakes (Grooms cake) on a 3 tier stand…we will have a motorcycle on the top of the highest cupcake and bikes all around the "cake table". 


Yes.  I’m paying a guy I found on Craig’s List to snap pics of the wedding… He’s going to give us (1) 8 X 10 and a cd with all the digital files both in high quality and low resolution for the http://www.  He’ll load the pics to his www page for my guests to view/order from.  He promises (it’s in the contract) to have the photo disc to us within 7 days.  My FH spoke to him and he seems pretty cool…..


My cousin will videotape the wedding for us.  


Hope this helps…  

Post # 9
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

In my opinion, the answer the the following is:

make-up (person to do it for you) artist?  NO. You can do it, a friend can do it, but if you want it, go for it! It can be nice to be pampered by a professional.

hair styist? NO. You can do it, a friend can do it, but if you want it, go for it! It can be nice to be pampered by a professional.

programs? NO. They’re nice to follow along to for guests but ultimately many of them will be thrown away or left behind immediately afterward.

centerpieces? NO. But they do add a nice ambiance and can be made very cheaply. Remember, you don’t have to use flowers at all. You can use things from a flea market, fruit, books, whatever!

o’dueves (i know i spelled it wrong) MAYBE, but think of your guests. Depending how far they have come and how long it has been since their last meal, they will probably appreciate a snack. Make sure they are comfortable and hydrated. Crackers, cheese, and fruit are inexpensive and classy hors d’oeuvres.

open bar cocktail hour? NO. Open bars are PHENOMENALLY expensive. You can serve signature cocktails or a limited number of cocktails (drink coupons) or JUST beer and wine. I’ve never seen anyone complain about kegs and nice wines.

open bar after cocktail hour? NO. Same as above.

chaircovers? NO. Personally, I think they’re hideous. If your chairs are awful enough to ruin photos (think carpet-covered conference chairs), you might consider chair covers. Otherwise, nope.

table seating name thing? NO, but it does make it easier for your guests in a way. It can streamline your reception in a way your guests (and you) might appreciate. But a seating chart is not required and I’ve been to many receptions without.

favors? MAYBE. These really are the best ways to show your thanks to your guests for putting the effort into attending your wedding. Most of them are giving you somewhat expensive gifts, so spending a few dollars (or less!) on a favor is not much to ask. Bake some cookies or make them something inexpensive! I know that YOU know you’re already paying for food and drinks for your guests, but they take this for granted. A favor shows you care.

paying for bridesmaid dress/flowers? Dresses NO, flowers, YES. If you want them to have flowers, generally you should pay for them. 

wedding cake? NO. It’s nice to have some dessert, but you can do pie or cupcakes or whatever you want. Some brides don’t like cake. You could cut a zucchini loaf and it would still be cool!

photographer? YES. Even if this person is not a professional, you really should have someone whose job (paid or unpaid) it is to take photos of you at key moments, otherwise you will probably regret it. A picture is worth a thousand words and your family will probably appreciate having some of you (and them) together! Even though your family members will have cameras, remember that they are there to enjoy the event, not work for you, and they would probably like to be in pictures as much as they enjoy taking them!

videographer? NO. But it could be a nice luxury. I’ve never enjoyed wedding videos, so we’re not having one.


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