(Closed) Cost of being a BM getting ridiculous…

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
477 posts
Helper bee

You are certainly not being unreasonable!  At this point, I would back out of the destination bachelorette party.  Just tell her you are already spending so much for the wedding, and you cannot afford to do both.  I would never DREAM of having both a destination wedding AND bachelorette.  How are people expected to be able to afford that.  You would think the bride would help pay for the travel expenses for the bachelorette party if everyone was already paying for her destination wedding.  What a diva.  

Post # 47
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would back out now and sell anything you bought and put it right back into your own wedding fund!

Post # 48
1651 posts
Bumble bee

She sounds like a spoiled bitchy bridezilla.

Post # 49
83 posts
Worker bee

Wow! Yes you need to talk to your friend, im sure she’s end up feeling terrible if something so meaningful like her wedding ended up ruining a friendship! This is supposed to bring yall closer

shes being outrageous!       I knew right away I wouldn’t make any demands from the people I asked to be involved. I know not everyone has the same financial situation, and people have other responsibility.  I told all the girls to pick out a black dress, preferably with some lace – it didn’t matter if they got it out a bridal salon or a department store! Get whatever black shoes they could find, that since I couldn’t pay to have everyone’s hair done they didn’t have to do it, & I’ll be buying their acsessories. 

I want everyone to enjoy being apart of my day, not go broke over it. I understand she may have a certain vision for her wedding day, but she also needs to understand its NOT all about her, people have lives outside of her getting married. 

Its just selfish & inconsiderate !!!



Post # 50
13 posts
  • Wedding: October 2015

That’s rude, does she think you all are made of money? Lol I’m paying for accessories on wedding day and their hair and makeup. She has to help you guys out somehow. 

Post # 51
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

welcome to the glamorous world of being a bridesmaid… I haven’t been on a vacation in 3 years because I’m so busy spending money on other people’s dream days. 

You gotta learn to say “look, I can’t afford it” – the problem is it starts off slow and then tends to snowball out of control! NO GIFT and don’t attend the bachelorette, be honest about why and say that you want her day to be special but you’re officially tapped out.

Sorry about this Bee, I promise you you aren’t alone!

Post # 52
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

kcoast:  Entitled is certainly the right word. 

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