Post # 1
Some seem (as I was) anxioulsy waiting and getting itchy about it all but when I read the post, I can’t help but wonder why some are complainig about money needing to be saved – for “the” ring. You do relaize that having to have “the” ring is what is holding the guy back and providing him with excuses, stalling tactics.
I for one, would have been happy with a simple little band in order to move things along and than later get “the” ring. It just seems to me that a lot of ladies are complaining about the guy having to save and it’s taking too long etc and with the economy the way it is today, I’m afriad that some women are going to be waiting a lot longer than necessary all because of a material need. It really is all about the partnership, not the size of the diamond. I’ve been married / divorce, had the big ole diamond etc., it really signifies nothing but a $$ to family & friends, in the end, no one will be looking at it or noticing it 🙂
Just some food for thought for the ladies impatiently waiting :)))
Post # 3
You could go the Moissy/Asha route
Or even find a really good deal on second hand jewellery, if you have your heart on a diamond stone.
Or go for gemstones, like Saphires, or Garnets. Maybe you could get your birthstone if you like it.
Post # 4
I think for most of the girls here who are waiting for their guys to save up for a ring it’s not because they are demanding a big diamond. Many have said they would be thrilled if he proposed with a ring pop, but it’s not just about what the girl wants. The guy has to be happy with it as well. He wants to get her a ring he’s proud of.
Post # 5
@Doubtful: I’m so glad u wrote this post, I was thinking the same thing when a friend of mine waited 5 years to be proposed to. Her SO at the time had 2 jobs and they were raising 4 children together but she had an idea what “the” ring should be. He saved and saved and wound up spending a good deal (over $1000) on her ring. She was still unappreciative! they still got married but it took them another 6 years to do that. When hubby proposed to me it was with a little ring that cost a couple hundred dollars (and I thought that was too much!) our wedding set that we used for the ceremony was $700 that included another engagement ring (because my original broke) and both wedding bands… we still wear that set and we just celebrated our 9th wedded year (14 total together). There is sooo much more to life, love, marriage and family then those materailistic things. Nothing should be valued more than ur partnership!
Post # 6
My Fiance and I are in graduate school, he’s in law school and I’m in medical school, needless to say we have lots of debt, and little cash. But he spent $600 on an Engagement Ring from Overstock.com. While it is not the ring of my dreams and I will no longer wear once I get my wedding band, I love that he didn’t let a little thing like lack of funds stop him from marrying me! P.S. I don’t really believe in E-rings. Look up the history of E-rings and the DeBeers marketing campaign “Forever Diamonds”. Crazy what ad execs invent – its so Mad Men
Post # 7
Hmm some food for thought.. I never have thought of this…
Post # 8
I guess it depends on the person their religion, tradition, beliefs, etc. Me personally I don’t want a proposal without a ring and neither does my SO. Not for the material reason but for the commitment/sentimental reasons. SO and I went ring shopping together to pick something out that was within our budget and taste. I think to each their own. Kudos to those who don’t want a ring with their proposal and kudos to those who do. It’s kind of hard to put that “no ring” proposal blanket over everyone given we each have different backgrounds.
Post # 9
It’s not always the woman who is expecting that big ring to celebrate with. I know tons of ladies here have expressed to their partners that they don’t need diamonds, that they would be thrilled with cheaper alternatives or nothing at all. I had this conversation with my guy and had sent him options that were significantly under the 1k mark (I’m very financially conscious). HE was the one that didn’t want to go the cheap route. And I’ve read posts from other ladies that have expressed the same. Sometimes it has nothing to do with our wants. But it’s rather our guys that are the ones wanting to buy the big ring. What’s frustrating to some is that they are spending years saving money (and sometimes doing a horrible job saving) for this big a$$ ring that these women have expressed they don’t want or need. A majority of the posts I’ve read concern guys who promise they are saving, even for the cheapest of rings, and don’t even try to put money away. Or ladies who have that guy that wants to buy the big ring and refuses to listen to her suggestion of something cheaper. It’s sprinkled with the type you are referring to, but I think they are a minority here. Just my 2 cents.
Post # 10
@Doubtful: I think a lot of it comes down to the never having been married woman’s mind. In our culture we build a fantasy our whole lives our white knight sweeping us off our feet with the perfect proposal and breathtaking ring. We get caught up in the idea that we are princesses and this is a fairytale. I have been married for going on seven years and I can tell you that I see exactly what you mean. If you are blessed enough to have found someone you want to marry and who wants to marry you, get on with things. I am all for fairytale romance when it is possible, but in the end it is getting down to the “happily ever after” that really counts. Not ever being married, they just don’t know what they don’t know.
Post # 11
@claireos: That’s what I was trying to say, but I think you did a much better job of saying it. 🙂
Post # 12
@PrettySedity: Ditto – I don’t buy into an engagement w/o a ring either, maybe I’m older so I don’t know all the new rules, etc lol, but an engagement without a ring is nothing more than words that would (for me) be nothing more than a way to shut me up about it and prolong the actual event. Again, that’s just me 🙂
Post # 14
I see what you’re saying and you make some good points, but I don’t 100% agree with you. My Darling Husband adn I both make good money, have no debt and I like nice things so it would have been sort of a slap in the face if he cheaped out on the ring. I didn’t demand anything specific, it was just understood between us that the ring needed to be kind of glamorous, a little more than average, which is exactly what I got.
And it actually would have hurt my feelings if he had clearly spent very little on the ring. He knows how much I love jewelry and how much I’ve always wanted a diamond engagement ring. And in our circle, engagement rings are a big deal so he would have been embarrased to have me wearing something a fraction of the size of his friends fiancee’s. I know i’m not the norm, not everyone feels the same way as me about getting engaged, but that’s coming from my perspective.
Post # 15
@MissBoPeep: You inspired me
Post # 16
When SO and I went ring shopping, I showed him a very budget conscious ring. I was actually really surprised at the price and thought he would appreciate the price. Nope- he didn’t like the ring. HE picked rings that were double (some even more) the cost of what I liked – and he’s not usually into throwing money into flashy things. He’s really good with his money, but the ring is important to him.
What I realized from the shopping experience (and from reading a lot of related WB posts) is that the proposal is very important to the man involved and that includes the ring. While us ladies will be the ones wearing the ring for the rest of our lives – its still a reflection on the man since he picked it out and bought it. I know when my family/friends all got engaged, everyone looked at the ring and commented on what a job well done the man did on picking the ring. I think that’s where the ‘saving for a ring’ stems from – not necessarily women demanding an expensive ring. Although I’m sure there are the exceptions – but I haven’t really come across any on WB.