Post # 1
My bachelorette party was last night and turned out to be a total blast! I had a really great time but there is an issue that is bothering me.
From the beginning of the day, the recurring issue was who was going to pay for what. My two maids of honor ‘hosted’ the party together and throughout most of the time, I noticed the tension between them and some of the guests. When it came time for things to be paid for, there was no clear answers as to who would pitch in for what. Frankly I found the situation to be seriously uncomfortable – but it got me thinking…
As the bachelorette, did you experience anything of this sort?
Have you ever thrown another bride’s party – and if so how did you handle the bill?
(FWIW there were some very serious errors made at dinner by the bartender, but that situation was not the only uncomfortable ‘who pays’ moment)
Post # 3
@christalynn11: I haven’t had mine yet, but Im afraid I’ll be in the same boat 🙁 Can’t wait to see what people say!
Post # 4
I went to a bachelorette weekend earlier this summer–the maid of honor handled the finances of everything, and had told us in emails that we’d be splitting the cost of the bride’s dinner on 2 nights when we went out and the cost of a group pole dancing lesson. She chipped in on the food for the rest of the weekend, and it was a little awkward when she was around while we were all writing checks to the maid of honor but it was pretty painless.
I don’t think you should worry about it though–it doesn’t reflect poorly on you. I doubt the issue was whether or not you should chip in–you have other stuff to worry about!!! They’ll get over it in due time 🙂
Post # 5
I was terrified of this happening, so basically my Maid/Matron of Honor (my sis) sent an email along the lines of”we are going to atlantic city and we are treating my sister. We’re having dinner and going to a club with bottle service and staying overnight. If you don’t want to spend the money, don’t come.” Everyone brought around $200 ( there were ten of us in one room-haha) There were no fights or awkwardness, and the girls who didn’t want to pay that much did not end up going. We had a great time!!
Post # 6
i think that all the attending girls should split the cost of the bride, unless it is an overnight bachelorette party. in that case, i think it is nice if the girls cover the cost of either a dinner one night for the bride or her drinks or something, but i think the bride should pay her own way in terms of hotel and flight.
Post # 7
I was also worried about this but my bridesmaids handled it so well! They specified how much each portion of my bachelorette party would cost in advance and collected money beforehand from the attendees. We went to a concert, out to dinner, and to drinks (plus they had t-shirts made), so everyone could opt in for whatever they wanted to or could afford.
I never saw ANY $ change hands. I seriously aspire to their organization when I plan two bachelorette parties next summer.
Post # 8
For my sister’s bachelorette party (yay sis…her wedding was 9/18) the BMs and I discussed in advance what we were planning and I made sure everyone knew the cost. The 3 BMs and I chipped in equally for the limo and then I covered the tab for my sister, myself, and my other BMs. We then added everything up and split the costs four ways.
As for the other guests, they rode in the limo free but we let them know in advance they would be responsible for their own drinks at the bar (we provided drinks at the house before the bachelorette party and in the limo) and their own cover charge and meal. We called up the guests a week in advance to let them know about the costs so it wouldn’t be a shock.
There weren’t any awkward moments b/c everyone knew in advance what was expected and had the cash on hand. We had a blast!!
Post # 9
i’m choosing not to have a bachelorette party to avoid drama with money and also to cut down on their costs… i really only want a wedding and no other extras. i didnt have an engagement party and also wont be having a rehearsal dinner.. Having said that usually the moh would take charge and discuss with the other bridesmaids how the costs would be split. usually this should be done ahead of time so there is no awkwardness on the day of
Post # 10
Anytime I’ve been invited to a bachelorette I’ve been asked to front the money before the event so it could go into the pot. That way I already paid my portion beforehand and I knew everyone else who was attending had done the same so there were no bad feelings or arguments. I’ve usually paid through PayPal to whomever was organizing it.
Post # 11
I planned a bach that was a few weeks ago.
It was out of state and we stayed over night- the bridesmaids all paid for part of the bride and all the guests just paid for themselves. I emailed the BM’s before planning anything and asked them how much they wanted to spend. So we all split it up and the guests just paid for their own way. As for dinner the brides sister offered to pay for her and people paid for drinks as we went.