(Closed) Cottage Wedding- Rude to ask guests to pay their accomodation, and how?

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: Is it rude to have a wedding week and ask your guests to pay for overnight accomodation?



  • Post # 2
    9443 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Yes, it’s rude. If you are going to try to dictate where people stay then that cost is on you.

    Post # 3
    6119 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Is there an option for them to come and not stay overnight? You might want to phrase it in a way that askes if they want the option of staying. “Please let us know if you would like to stay overnight it is $___/night, and we will pay up front.” But making it so people have to stay overnight isn’t likely to go over well.

    I see this getting awkward real fast. There has to be a better way from the venue? What do they say people usually do?



    Post # 4
    2260 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I highly doubt that anyone would even want to stay a whole week for your wedding.  I might sort of understand if it was for one night (but it’s still really rude), but for a whole week??? No.

    Post # 5
    6119 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    lahela017 :  Just noticed it was a week. Most people don’t have that kind of vacation time to dedicate to a wedding!

    Post # 6
    123 posts
    Blushing bee

    Sorry but yes this would be rude as it is pushing cost into guests in order to fund a venue you couldn’t otherwise afford.

    Post # 7
    2599 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    christinemm :  sounds like this inn is trying to lock you into a huge financial commitment. Honestly, there is not polite way to ask for money. Don’t reserve the inn but maybe suggest it as a possible place to stay for your guests on you wedding website or word of mouth. 

    Post # 8
    2330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    I disagree with the pp. you’re not dictating where they stay, just offering a cheap close alternative to driving home. You can simply say that the cost of staying on site is 40 pp/pn. If they are interested to contact you directly, or maybe make a parent in charge of collecting the fees. I will say it’s going to be a bigger hassle to try and get all those small payments (likely why the venue won’t do it themselves) and you may end up paying for unused rooms or for people’s stay that didn’t pay. 

    ETA: But no one will likely be interested in staying for a week for your wedding. So at this point I would forget this venue. 

    Post # 10
    2056 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    View original reply
    teacher-bee-in-the-sea :  I agree with this- you can totally arrange it and say that accommodation is $40/night.


    But, OP, it’s pretty unlikely that you’ll get back even a quarter of the cost, let alone all of it. One, you can’t force them to stay and pay. Two, slim to none of them will take a week vacation for this.

    Post # 11
    2165 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    No it is not rude if presented to the guests as an option. You are not chaining them to the bedposts or making any requirements. If they don’t want to, they say no.

    It may not be practical for many to stay a whole week, but you don’t have to foot the bill.

    Post # 12
    15 posts

    Honestly, I hate nothing more than been invited to a wedding that is out of town (and especially out of the country) and expected to foot the bill for accomodation. In your case, drinking and driving is their responsibility – sure you can tell them the number for the taxi service or inform them of the closest train station but a whole weeks long accomodation just because you are worried about your guests drinking and driving is a bit over the top. If guests would like to stay the night or a couple of nights that is up to them to decide and their responsibility but I wouldn’t be asking people to pay for their own accomodation. Also, you said that is the price for a week rental? I highly doubt people would stay that long… most people have lives and work and all. 

    Post # 13
    10286 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    You’re counting on enough people paying $40/per night for 7 days to offset your costs.

    So,rudeness aside (and yes, it’s rude), im betting you’re overestimating the number of people who can take a week off for your wedding, and want to pay an additional $40 PER PERSON, thus $80.00 a night for couples, for 7 days. 

    You say they don’t have to stay but in your OP you clearly state that you can’t afford it if they don’t cover the costs of the inn. So I guess it’s one or the other. 

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