(Closed) Cottage Wedding- Rude to ask guests to pay their accomodation, and how?

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: Is it rude to have a wedding week and ask your guests to pay for overnight accomodation?

    yes

    no

  • Post # 61
    Member
    14149 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I’ll try another perspective. Venue requires you to rent out the whole place in order to have the wedding there. You are obliged to lease this space for a week. In that sense it is no different than if you were throwing a private social function at your leased home or apartment complex.

    Would you charge your friends a portion of your rent or mortgage if you invited people to sleep there and attend your wedding as a guest? I hope not. This is no different. 

    Post # 62
    Member
    7881 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    The etiquette issue has been well addressed already. I agree that having the guests pay you for their accommodations in the whole inn you reserved is rude.

    For an additional viewpoint, I think it can lead to a lot of bad situations too. Will you be disappointed if not many people take you up on your offer? What if someone causes damage to the inn that requires additional payment? Are you expecting a gift in addition to the payment for the room? What if someone flakes on paying you? 

    Post # 63
    Member
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    As for having guests pay for your venue, which is what you’d be asking them to do, the answer is simply no.

    Can you change the date to a time when you can book the place for only 2-3 nights?

    Post # 64
    Member
    14149 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Here’s another. You, on your own, in cooperation with nobody else,  rent a beach house for the month of July. You decide to invite friends to visit for part of that time as your invited guest. Do you charge them? Again, I certainly hope not. 

    It would be different if a group went in on a rental together. In that case presumably they also have input in the planning, the budget, the timing and all the rest. 

    If your friends decided to stay in a hotel instead, that would be on them. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    1014 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 1984

    Hubby and I were invited to a wedding at Hockley Valley Resort (Ontario, Canada.) This resort is two hours plus away from where most guests live. Our invitation provided a code number in order to get a discounted rate should we choose to stay overnight. There were 150 guests and, other than the wedding party whose costs were covered by the B&G, only four guests decided to stay overnight. We drove home and we certainly would not have stayed a week.

    I think it’s one thing to present it as an option but it should not be mandatory. I also think it’s inappropriate that they have to pay you. Does this then count towards your gift? I certainly would be thinking that it does – 6 nights x 80 = $480 = not cheap at all when I live only a couple of hours away.

    I’m in agreement with PP that you should look for a different venue or try a different time of year. What about a fall wedding – September is great in Ontario and it’s easier to get a deal after Labour day.

    Post # 67
    Member
    1014 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 1984

    View original reply
    christinemm :  What about the Old Mill? The grounds are beautiful for great pics. My son and DIL had their wedding there in October on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. They had a small wedding wth 50 guests, open bar, cocktails and hors d’oeuvres while pics were being done and a sit down lunch afterwards and it came to just over $10,000 all in (dress, photographer/videographer, flowers, cake, makeup and hair.) The officiant is terrific – guides you through everything and really sets everyone at ease!

    Of course, I’m sure it would be more expensive for a Saturday night sit down dinner but, because they just purchased a house (and in Toronto this is not cheap!) they were concerned about cost.

    Post # 68
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    IT IS NOT RUDE!!! 

     

    It isn’t necessary for them to stay, you are simply giving them an option since the wedding is far away. Out of town guests are typically expected to pay for their own flights are they not?

     

    It is YOUR wedding, and I think people often forget that you can do whatever you like on YOUR day 🙂

    Plus it’s not $500 per guest or anything crazy so I say go for it! A week long vacation for that cheap of a price is a bargain, and your guests should want to do that for you if they really care about you. 

    YOU DO YOU!

    Post # 69
    Member
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee

    Whilst it’s a bit odd that the money would go through you, I don’t see it as a problem.  After all wedding guests book rooms in hotel blocks that the couple have booked (& probably they enjoyed the honeymoon suite as a ‘freebie’). 

    Could you suggest to the inn that if people want to stay, they pay the inn directly and the inn tales that amount from your final bill? That way (even if the set up is still the same) it feels closer to a hotel block set up and less people paying you.

    Personally I’d be up for what you’ve suggesyed, probably not only 2 hours away though. I’d just leave earlier and drive home.

    Post # 70
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    View original reply
    christinemm :  because paying for the bridal party to stay overnight is not the norm.

    Post # 72
    Member
    3323 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    View original reply
    christinemm :  “sleeps 30” isn’t usually 15 rooms for 2 people each. It usually includes multiple beds in a room and/or sofa beds. Yours might not, but that’s the norm. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    1601 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Wait….you’re in Toronto and you say you are having difficulty finding a venue that has accommodations close by? Ummm…..id take another look since last I checked Toronto was a large city with at least one or two hotels available. 

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