- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
Ok – firstly I don’t want anyone to think I’m being ungrateful. I am so very happy with my SO, and would wait for a long time (within reason!!!) for him to propose, but I’m dissapointed and wanted to vent in a safe place to the only people who will really understand.
So that being said; here’s the facts you need.
SO and I have been together for a bit over a year and moved in together at the start of the month
He has previously told me that he would want to live together 6 months before getting engaged
I’m 28, he’s 31 and he’s told me he wants 2 kids, and wants to be married before babies. I’ve told him I want to be done baby making before my 35th birthday. So you don’t need to be a maths genius to work out that realistically we need to be married late 2015 or in 2016.
He’s been married before, and I was in a long term relationship that ended about a month before the wedding because my ex-FI decided he didn’t want to get married (so obviously I’m a little bit sensitive about the whole topic)
So with all this in mind I sort of thought that probably I’d have around 6-8 months to wait
The other day we’d had an arguement and to his own admission he messed up; when all was calm I joked that the only way he’d get back in my good books was with a proposal. He replied “when I ask you to marry me the day will be perfect” and had talked passionately about providing me with stability and security and a future
Then last night we were talking about our hopes and plans for next year such as “next year we’re….. Renovating the bathroom, holidaying in devon”, etc and I said “getting engaged……?” and he froze. Apparently he wasn’t expecting me to ask that and felt “in a corner” about it. Despite us talking about it 2 days previous
Eventually he said he didn’t know when we’d get married and he hadn’t really thought about it. And doesn’t have a time frame. I asked him well don’t you know if it will be closer to 6months or 4years? And he said well it won’t be 6 months, and I thought we’d be having kids in 4 years so it’ll be before that.
So now im confused! And I don’t want to have to wait and wait and then feel like we have to rush wedding plans or not have any married time together before baby making.
And I don’t feel I can bring it up again incase he feels pressurized.
Waiting tips PLEASE!!