Post # 1
What do you think would happen if you presented a recalcitrant guy with this book? She wants a ring, I don’t want to change a thing. The reviews are a bit emphatic about how amazing it is, but then there are horror stories in the review section about women presenting their man with this book and him cheating or breaking off the entire relationship. While I doubt a book could destroy an otherwise healthy relationship, what are your thoughts? Is this flirting with disaster, or would it be a good reality check for a would-be fiance?
Also, would love to hear your thoughts about it.
Post # 3
IMO, the reality check is you telling him you want more commitment from the relationship soonish. The book might be helpful if he wants to do something about it and expresses an interest. If he’s trying to work through issues, sure it might help, but I don’t know what the relationship is like and what his thoughts are on the matter so I can see this going really really wrong. I’d only give it to him if he’s expressed that he wants to marry you but is having trouble with the idea.
Post # 4
I think that using the book to bring up the topic is a bad idea. It’s insulting. You should talk to him about it first, THEN tell him about the book. Surprising your Boyfriend or Best Friend with a book about how you think he’s dragging his feet is asking for a fight…
Post # 5
In my opinion giving his that book will pressure him into making a decision he might not be ready to make. Have you guys talked about the proposal? What if he has plans already?! Or what if he simply isn’t ready to make that decision quite yet. I know waiting is hard, but if you love him and have a healthy relationship I think that talking about it would be much more constructive.
I am not saying you are doing this, but Ms.Nacho’s wrote this really great post about engagement. For me at least, I realized that maybe I was putting too much pressure on my SO, and the pressure in many cases has the potential to ruin something great that you two share. Maybe you can read the book and then get some ideas as to how to talk to him about it. That way it isn’t you nagging at him, but trying to understand where you are at in your relationship or why he won’t propse.
Post # 6
Oops, just to clarify, I’m not asking about this because I’m considering it or it’s even relevant to me! I just was really curious about what people thought of just handing a book over. It looks like everyone resoundingly thinks it’s a horrible thing to do. I could imagine situations in which it might be better received (as Arachna said, if he admits to commitment issues and is looking to change), but it does seem to strike everyone in a really bad way.