- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 1994
I have a friend of mine who is like a sister to me. We have been through some very difficult times together in our lives. Have known one another for 17 years. We used to be very close, but over the years I have found we have grown apart, mainly to her never really leaving the nest and learning to be independent. We are now in our 30’s and I just don’t know how to relate to her, and we argue often because she has the attitude/mentality of a teenager. She makes very poor choices (some which have landed her in trouble with the law and in jail), she has recently decided to get a boob job from insurance money she received from an accident that was supposed to pay for her medical care, she is dishonest with others (and herself), in some ways she is in all honesty delusional, she tends to be narsacissitic, and overall, she is rather unsupportive of me. She ignores my successes, but brags about ‘famous people’ she pretends to have close friendships with. I find it hard to communicate with her. And she gets very defensive. For a long time I didn’t say anything to her about her attitude etc., but after awhile I began speaking up because I started resenting her for being her sounding board, and now she resents me for being honest with her. These differences have resulted in me completely ignoring her for the past month or so (and removing her from my social media contacts, etc.)
Yesterday, she sent me a text appologizing, and saying she is trying to work on her faults, and wishes she could be there for me (though she pretty much ignores anything good going on in my life). She said she hopes we can work on our friendship. I didn’t respond, and she texted my husband asking him to help her with this.
I’m just not sure what to do at this point. Being her friend is exhausting and frustrating. I feel like we won’t be able to get along until she grows up and gets her life together (and I’ve told her that). Like I said, we are like sisters, and I don’t like having a bad taste in the air. It has been important to me to not be on bad terms with people, even if I have to keep my distance from them.
I guess my question is what would you do in this situation? I am at a loss as to how to respond to her, but feel as though I need to atleast acknowledge that she reached out to me.
Thanks Bee’s, I appreciate it.