(Closed) Could Use Some Advice – Cancelling Wedding

posted 6 years ago in Beehive
Post # 16
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I suggest sitting down with him and check out blog posts that involve real small weddings. See if you both respond positively to that.

I think a lot of the time, people have medium-large sized weddings even though it’s not right for them because they think that’s what’s “done” and they worry what people would think if they are not invited or if something is done “differently”. But it’s just not the case! Small weddings are just as normal as large ones, they just aren’t as talked up by the Wedding Industrial Complex (or mother-in-laws, haha). 

All the best of luck to you and your Fiance.

Post # 18
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

Can you do a scaled back version of the wedding you are currently planning? Maybe it’s at the same venue but with a smaller group of guests? Or can it be a brunch wedding (which sounds fantastic – never heard of it until someone mentioned it on here) or a cocktail wedding? Get married with an intimate group by candlelight and skip the big dinner thing? 

Post # 19
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  After reading your post as well as some Bee comments my advise would be to plan for the 60-80 guests but change your venue so you dont have to worry about the minimums you’ll have to meet. <br />A word of advice to pass on to your finace and his worries about what people will think…in 2,5, 10,15,30 yrs no one and I mean absolutely no one will remember any details about your wedding besides you guys. Humans are by nature selfish and we are all the centers of our own universe. These people he is worried about will not think twice about your wedding because they will be thinking about their own lives and worries. The only people who will remember it and care will be your parents and siblings, thats pretty much it. 

Post # 20
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We were in a similar situaion at one point.  We both wanted a small wedding, and I kept finding as the planning went along that the scope was growing larger and larger.  I was starting to feel guilty for not inviting all my extended family, then my Fiance at the time was getting anxious at how the guest list was growing. We decided to just cut back and have what we wanted, and it was the best decision for us.  It’s so easy to get swept up in trying to make everyone else happy and forgetting what will make you happy.

We had a small outdoor ceremony with 20 guests (including the wedding party) and then a dinner at a fancy restaurant for everyone.  I got to wear my wedding dress, we had the photographer, all the nice details.  It was perfect – really low stress, and I got to spend time with the people I love the most. All the extended family was very understanding about it all.

I think you should do something like that.  Keep the same day so you can keep your booked vendors that you can still use with a small wedding, like photographer, officiant, etc.  

Post # 22
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  I would see if you could get your money back or reach out to bridal blogs and see if you could get people to take over your contract at least so it doesn’t go to waste and maybe you can recoup some of the costs.

I totally agree with you though… For me, it wouldn’t be about the money as it would for peace of mind and having the wedding that I want.

Unfortunately, you are running out of time in regards to the planning, so I would try to make that decision soon.

Post # 23
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  I would elope and THEN see if you want a reception/celebration. You want to be married but aren’t sure about a wedding- that’s fine. But I think at least part of your anxiety and heistattion might stem from feeling like canceling the wedding “says something” about your relationship. If you go ahead and just get married, the “wedding” portion is just a party and not as big a deal so you’ll be able to think about it with a clearer head. 

Post # 26
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
TheMaskedBee: Not sure if this could apply in your case, but our venue has a smaller and larger room option, could you switch to a smaller one?

Or, if that doesn’t work, scrap the current venue ($500 is not really a big deal anyway) and find something you love on the same day. It’s totally doable. We are having less than 60 guests and planning the whole thing in about 7 months. Because of the small size of our wedding, even though we wanted an August date (super popular here) we still had lots of choices of venues. Restaurants are easy, inexpensive options with great food (duh) and with a small group, you could still have something special without the stress. 

If you want to get married, but just not with the original wedding plan, I think you still do it and have a day you’ll love. It’s awesome that your Fiance and parents are so supportive. Just brainstorm together about what what’s important to you and what you feel comfortable with. Lots of time to make changes if you want. 🙂

Post # 27
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  I’d wait till April 1st and re-evaluate.  You might find that a break from planning is all you needed. Truthfully, I hated every step of the planning for our wedding. I found that it was stressful, and so “un-me”; but in the end I had a blast that day, and it pushed me out of my comfort zone in the best way possible.  

Post # 28
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  Just reading about the rift thing in the family and the fact that you guys don’t even enjoy planning a wedding I get the feeling that it now seems so.. forced.

I will repeat myself, but yes. I would cancel the wedding for now. Speak to your Fiance about it too, make sure he shares the same feelings.

Post # 29
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
TheMaskedBee:  You’re still far enough away that it wouldn’t seem too abrupt- your invitations didn’t go out yet.

Who cares what other people think? If you reallllly need to tell them anything at all, I would just tell them that we are changing our venue and wedding style and just need more planning time. 🙂

The topic ‘Could Use Some Advice – Cancelling Wedding’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors