(Closed) Could use some advice from people with friends/family who had cancer

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

You can’t really say anything to make her feel better. You can ask her what she needs though. 

Some people just want to pretend that nothing is wrong. They want to talk to their friends and gossip like they always have. Once they get “used” to having cancer, they just want to live their life.

In the beginning, however, it will be hard. My go-to for anyone who is feeling bad is to give them some food so they dont have to think about chores for the first few emotional nights (and randomly through out her treatment).

Since you live far away I would make plans for once a month to have pizza and salad, or some other delivery to her house so she and her husband and kids can spend quality time that night with out the effort of dinner or expense.

Post # 5
Member
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry to hear that. One of my dear friends found out she has cancer this past year. She lives in Europe so our situation is somewhat similar in that way as well. We talk on the phone and I listen to her. I encourage her to stay positive (and she has) and that is really all that can be done. 

She told me that when she first found out everyone in her family was taking it really badly so I knew I had to be strong for her and not react the same way as her family had. 

Post # 6
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

She’d probably appreciate it alot more if you were able to help out with something she needs, rather than try to say/do something to make her “feel better”.

Don’t look at it as their last moments because you don’t know how much longer they’ll be around. They could easily still be here long after their expected “last days” still going strong. No reason to act down about it.

For what it’s worth, my grandma is battling a very rare breast cancer and having radiation treatments (they don’t do chemo for this particular type, even though they removed the cancer), and other than being tired from the radiation, she’s still going strong and has plans for years to come since she’s not going anywhere. No one is acting like she’s on her last breath.

Post # 8
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just let her know she can talk to you about anything, whether it be her cancer or her family or random celebrity news – the best gift you can give is just to continue being the friend you have been. She will have good days and bad days and really, really sick days. Just keep calling and sharing stories and being there.
 

@lefeymw: love the far away pizza delivery idea!

Post # 9
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Let her know that you’re there if she needs to laugh, cry, whatever. If it’s in your budget, consider getting her gift certificates to a restaurant that delivers or even some visits from a maid service that can be used when your friend wishes. 

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