Could you be friends with someone with opposite views than you ?

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
Post # 46
4237 posts
Honey bee

My tolerance for other’s differing beliefs ends when those beliefs infringe on someone else’s rights. 


Post # 47
1639 posts
Bumble bee

Depends what the issue is and if I think it’s a difference of values of a difference in facts or a difference in terminology. If I think it’s genuinely a difference in values, then I’ll go scorched earth, but I think sometimes people on the left (and I’m on the left) are a bit trigger happy in that determination. 

For example, I have one friend who absolutely hates references to white privilege and was an “all lives matter” person, but will also rant just as passionately about how the justice system is grossly unfair to men of color (Hispanic or black) which is…the platform of black lives matter. It’s sort of baffling, she’s someone who despite who has had a rough life so I think she’s just knee-jerk prickly at being told she is privileged, but I’m fine with that since she can still see unfair treatment of minorities, acknowledge it, and passionately be upset about it so I’m less concerned about whether she embraces the rhetoric of privilege. 

With racism I distinguish between cognitive missteps and more overt racism. I’ll let it go if a friend at work accidentally confuses the name of the two Asian interns (though I might gently tease them and encourage them to be better about it), but I have no fucking patience for someone who want to sit around saying Asian people have no personalities. 


Post # 48
1182 posts
Bumble bee

I have an intolerance for intolerance so I generally don’t really care what someone’s views are as long as they don’t impose them on me or they aren’t hate speech etc. The only exception is anti-vaxxers and anti-doctor type people because I’m a doctor and I can’t deal with such idiocy. I think that’s mutual though because those sorts of people tend to avoid/dislike me back xo

Post # 49
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

cherrymerlot : I think I could be friends with most people who have differing views. I keep people out of my life more based on their attitude and the way they deal with things rather than their beliefs. I have believed different things in my life and have changed over the years and I’m sure I’ll continue to so I assume it works the same way for others. I only distance myself from people that are rigid. 

My fiancé and I have differing views on guns, abortion, religion, and some other things but we’re able to coexist peacefully after the initial hiccups and passionate arguments. Neither of us are in completely black or white areas but rather in shades of grey so I think that helps. We are also respectful of each other’s different opinions and thoughts. 

Post # 50
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I would not be friends with someone who had any type of anti-lgbtq views. No way, no how. 

Post # 51
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

There are two issues here. One is if the other person can listen respectfully to another’s point of view. During the 2016 campaign, I never encountered a Sanders supporter who could listen to a Clinton supporter. At all. And, like many other Clinton supporters, I stopped trying to talk with them.   Or deal with them at all. 

I don’t care if it’s chocolate vs. vanilla; I don’t want to remain unheard while someone crams their opinion down my throat.

The other issue is the actual content of the person’s opinions. If they support ideas that harm other people (racism, sexism, any of the -isms, cut-throat capitalism, anti-Semitism, spanking children, genital mutilation, etc., etc.) I don’t want to be anywhere around them, even if they’re quiet about it and otherwise charming (which seems unlikely). 

Post # 52
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I can be casual friends with all sorts of people. I am pretty anti-abortion, and don’t think I could be close friends with someone who is rabidly pro-abortion, though.

Post # 53
375 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think two people have to agree on everything in order to be friends, however I could not be friends with someone who does not at the very least support basic, fundamental human rights for all people. For example, if someone is religious, it’s not a problem for me even though I am not personally religious. If their religious beliefs mean they are anti-lgbtq, then it is a problem for me.

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