Post # 1
Okay ladies, this is a totally hypothetical situation.
Based on everything going on with celebrities and infidelities lately got me thinking about different situations. And this was one of them.
Say you were a young attractive girl, and you met and became friends with an older, wealthy, yet attractive male. You weren’t sexually attracted to him, but you were really good friends. What if he proposed. Maybe he wanted to have kids, maybe he wanted a “trophy wife”… but for whatever reason, he wanted to marry you.
He said upfront: He may be having things on the side, you could have things on the side, but ultimately, you (and potentially) your children would be set for life. You were essentially married friends.
Could you pass up on “love” for a potentially great & exciting life?
Lots of women do… could you?
Post # 3
Um… no. I don’t think the life would be bad… but you’d be missing out on the potential for SO MUCH more. Money isn’t everything.
Post # 4
How bad is my life, hypothetically? If my life was sh*t, maybe? ha.
For many women (mail order brides anybody?) I could see marriage as a loveless “everybody wins” companionship.
I’m the kind of person who’s pretty content to be single, but I can honestly see the appeal to it. In another universe, essentially =].
Post # 5
Nope. I can have a great and exciting life on my own, thank you very much. A sugar daddy would be way too easy. (And like others have mentioned, it wouldn’t mean automatic ease and happiness. Quite the opposite, probably)
Post # 6
I probably would. If I can have “things” on the side, I’d just have my relationship with FI as-as without a piece of paper sayng we’re married. Done & done=)
Post # 7
humm in this lifetime having found the love of my life and knowing how great of a life it is thu we do not have much money i say no..BUT if it was another life where i was suffering a lot living a TERRIBLE life and wanting to die..yes maybe then i take a chance and be in a loveless marriage..still IF kids r involved seeing their parents “having thing on the side” would break their little hearts..so again MAYBE
Post # 8
No way. I guess I can see why people do it, but that is definitely not for me. I would be really unhappy/dissatisfied with my life, and I don’t think its the most healthy situation for the kids, either. I want my kids to see me and my husband in a healthy, mutually loving relationship.
Post # 9
That’s a really tough question to answer! I don’t think I could do it though. Money has never motivated me in that kinda way, which is why we’re BROKE right now :). And I’m not good as masking my feelings, or lack there of either so I’d be a miserable wife to that man! But, if this was an arrangement that could make another woman truly happy- good for her! Sounds like it could work for some people.
Post # 10
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I never could. I’m totally the type of person that needs a lot of love and affection from my SO – if FI gets really stressed and isn’t lovey for a few days, it totally stresses me out. So yeah, I think I would go crazy in that type of marriage!
Post # 11
I could never marry somebody I wasn’t in love with. Money, older, younger..none of this matters..what matters is that I LOVE my hubby and I want to spend my life with him. 🙂
Post # 12
Loving the answers bees.
Personally, I don’t know if I could do the mentioned scenario. I agree, maybe a different life, maybe if I were single now, maybe.
I also often wonder if older couples feel this way. With Al & Tipper splitting up in their 60s… will they find love again? Did they not want to spend the rest of their lives with not only the mother/father of their children, but what they say is there best friend?
If I’m 60, and still with my FH, we are still best friends, but some of the “sizzle” is gone.. I’m not going to split up with him.. I would stay in a compaionship type of relationship for the remainder of my days…
Post # 13
This makes me think of my mother’s best friend from high school, who married for money knowing that it wasn’t really love. She was unhappy in the marriage, they ended up divorcing, and now she’s married to another man who she seems really happy with.
When she made the final decision to divorce her first husband, she told my mother that he was a nice man, but “When you marry for money, you earn every penny of it”. I didn’t understand what she meant at the time, but I think I get it now.
Under normal circumstances, I don’t think I would ever marry for money, but in some that have been described by other posters (like ejs) I could see it.
Post # 14
In the mentioned scenario, I just don’t see the point of getting married. Why not just continue to see each other? I would definitely never enter a marriage like that, and I don’t think I could have a long term relationship like that either. Seems to go against the basic tenets of any strong relationship…honesty, trust, etc.
Post # 15
In that scenario, I would. Being good friends with someone usually means you love them – just not IN love with them. To me, warmth, kindness and affection are a decent basis for a partnership – if you both work at it, you are (IMO) less likely to lose that than the whole “in love” feeling. My (platonic) best friend and i have been through two of my serious relationships and her marriage and separation – we’re still going strong lol! Granted, we don’t live together (but we used to!)
Anyway, I think that if we were committed to making it work, and always maintained that level of friendship (without one person secretly being in love with the other and all jealous about the affairs), then that might just work out for me!
Post # 16
Ella, we are date twins! And, twins in the way that you seem to share my love of hypothetical situations!
If I lived in a world where my FI did not exist, I could probably do it. Before the FI, I was pretty cynical about the concept of a lifetime love with one person or soulmate. I mean, arranged marriages normally work out. Marrying for love is a relatively new concept. I’d rather be the parents from Fiddler on the Roof – in an arranged marriage and grew to love each other, than Romeo and Juliet anyday.
In fact, I still question the idea of just one person out there that is perfect for everyone. And, I believe that a good friendship is an important part of a marriage. It’d be more like roommates, but I don’t think it would be a bad situation.