(Closed) Could you be in a loveless marriage?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… no. I don’t think the life would be bad… but you’d be missing out on the potential for SO MUCH more. Money isn’t everything.

Post # 4
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

How bad is my life, hypothetically? If my life was sh*t, maybe? ha.

For many women (mail order brides anybody?) I could see marriage as a loveless “everybody wins” companionship.

I’m the kind of person who’s pretty content to be single, but I can honestly see the appeal to it. In another universe, essentially =].

Post # 5
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Nope. I can have a great and exciting life on my own, thank you very much. A sugar daddy would be way too easy. (And like others have mentioned, it wouldn’t mean automatic ease and happiness. Quite the opposite, probably)

Post # 6
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I probably would.  If I can have “things” on the side, I’d just have my relationship with Fiance as-as without a piece of paper sayng we’re married.  Done & done=)

Post # 7
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

humm in this lifetime having found the love of my life and knowing how great of a life it is thu we do not have much money i say no..BUT if it was another life where i was suffering a lot living a TERRIBLE life and wanting to die..yes maybe then i take a chance and be in a loveless marriage..still IF kids r involved seeing their parents “having thing on the side” would break their little hearts..so again MAYBE

Post # 8
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No way. I guess I can see why people do it, but that is definitely not for me. I would be really unhappy/dissatisfied with my life, and I don’t think its the most healthy situation for the kids, either. I want my kids to see me and my husband in a healthy, mutually loving relationship.

Post # 9
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That’s a really tough question to answer!  I don’t think I could do it though.  Money has never motivated me in that kinda way, which is why we’re BROKE right now :).  And I’m not good as masking my feelings, or lack there of either so I’d be a miserable wife to that man!  But, if this was an arrangement that could make another woman truly happy- good for her!  Sounds like it could work for some people. 

Post # 10
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I never could. I’m totally the type of person that needs a lot of love and affection from my SO – if Fiance gets really stressed and isn’t lovey for a few days, it totally stresses me out. So yeah, I think I would go crazy in that type of marriage!

Post # 11
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I could never marry somebody I wasn’t in love with. Money, older, younger..none of this matters..what matters is that I LOVE my hubby and I want to spend my life with him. 🙂

Post # 13
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

This makes me think of my mother’s best friend from high school, who married for money knowing that it wasn’t really love. She was unhappy in the marriage, they ended up divorcing, and now she’s married to another man who she seems really happy with.

When she made the final decision to divorce her first husband, she told my mother that he was a nice man, but “When you marry for money, you earn every penny of it”. I didn’t understand what she meant at the time, but I think I get it now.

Under normal circumstances, I don’t think I would ever marry for money, but in some that have been described by other posters (like ejs) I could see it.

Post # 14
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In the mentioned scenario, I just don’t see the point of getting married. Why not just continue to see each other? I would definitely never enter a marriage like that, and I don’t think I could have a long term relationship like that either. Seems to go against the basic tenets of any strong relationship…honesty, trust, etc.

Post # 15
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In that scenario, I would.  Being good friends with someone usually means you love them – just not IN love with them.  To me, warmth, kindness and affection are a decent basis for a partnership – if you both work at it, you are (IMO) less likely to lose that than the whole “in love” feeling.  My (platonic) best friend and i have been through two of my serious relationships and her marriage and separation – we’re still going strong lol!  Granted, we don’t live together (but we used to!)

Anyway, I think that if we were committed to making it work, and always maintained that level of friendship (without one person secretly being in love with the other and all jealous about the affairs), then that might just work out for me!

Great question!

Post # 16
45 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ella, we are date twins!  And, twins in the way that you seem to share my love of hypothetical situations!

If I lived in a world where my Fiance did not exist, I could probably do it.  Before the Fiance, I was pretty cynical about the concept of a lifetime love with one person or soulmate.  I mean, arranged marriages normally work out.  Marrying for love is a relatively new concept.  I’d rather be the parents from Fiddler on the Roof – in an arranged marriage and grew to love each other, than Romeo and Juliet anyday.

In fact, I still question the idea of just one person out there that is perfect for everyone.  And, I believe that a good friendship is an important part of a marriage.  It’d be more like roommates, but I don’t think it would be a bad situation.

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