Post # 1
This might be a bit of a debbie downer post, but I think I am being realistic.
There are plenty of single moms that bust their ass and make it work and as a married and pregnant women that is not the plan I have in place BUT I do think that if something were to happen could I FINANCIALLY do it? Would it be lifestyle change?
So the question is could you financially raise your child(ren) on your own if you were without your spouse? Would your lifestyle change? What would change?
I will start, hus and I make nearly the same income (roughly $45k each) and it would be very difficult even w/ child support to raise a child on my own. MIL will be our FT nanny and if I had to pay for childcare I would be taking home nearly 1/3 my income. I would have to move, likley into a small apartment. My lifestyle would change dramatically as I would be broke between rent, bills and student loans and might need to compromise the type of daycare and/or get a second job in order to support us.
I am not religious in the least, but I agree with this at times
Post # 3
Yes, I could. But I say that based on not just my salary, but on the very large life insurance policy that DH has. It is enough to pay off the house, both cars and still have a good deal of money left over. I would still need to work, but I would not be scrambling to pay the mortgage etc.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I was a single parent when I met Mr. LK, so I know I would have no problem doing it all on my own. 🙂 Even adding a 2nd child would not be an issue. Things would obviously change. If it were me and 2 kids I would trade this big house on 5 acres for a townhome, just because I couldn’t maintain all of this on my own. But otherwise we would continue with our current lifestyle.
Post # 5
I definitely couldn’t stay in the house we have and save for retirement and vacations like we do now. But with a smaller rent, a little less retirement saving (we max 401k and Roths now), and help from my parents in place of day care, I’d manage ok and still be pretty comfortable I think. My 2013 car is paid off and I have no loans. We make the same amount now and have done things so that if we HAD to, we could get by on one income.
Post # 6
With smaller rent…sure I could. I am the breadwinner for our family right now, DH makes half of what I do. I could support myself and 2 kids. It would be tight but it would work.
Post # 7
No. I don’t have a college degree and have only worked retail. I would have to move back in with my parents and juggle my own work schedule with my mother’s because I could never afford daycare.
Post # 8
In no way would I be able to take care of our 3 kids on my own. I never went to college and only got a GED when I moved to the states because my diploma from my country was no good – even though I actually have an hydraulic engineering degree back home, it meant nothing over here.
So with no education I’d be able to do very little as far as jobs go. That would mean making minimum wage. No way could I pay for child care for 3 kids. That alone would take more than I would make. I’d be completely screwed and would have to rely on family members. Which really is only my FI’s family as mine lives in Europe.
I would probably have to move back to my country and live with my dad forever.
So that scares the crap out of me. I really can’t see myself going to college now, but I am hoping in 4 years when the youngest goes to kindergarten I can go back to school and get a degree and hopefuly get a job that would mean I can take care of my kids in case something happened.
Post # 9
@aliciapdx: Yes, I could. I believe strongly in financial independence. It is easier (of course) with my FI, but I could do it on my own if need be.
Post # 10
also, the idea of going back to school scares me because English is my third language. I know it’s not bad, it’s actually pretty decent but when it comes to technical terms I am lost. I don’t even know the proper terms for math equations and such so that would be like learning everything from start. And then there’s English itself which I taught myself so I have no idea about that. I can speak it and type it but that’s about it.
Post # 11
My mom found herself in this sitation when my dad passed away suddenly. She had been a stay at home mom our whole lives but suddenly became a widow with 3 children under 10 years old.
The reality is that our lifestyle did change. She did not have a degree and had been out of the workforce for 10+ years. Its nearly 20 years later and it’s still a struggle for her. It’s not fair and definetly not the life she dreamed of or planned on. With that said, you make it work. She kept a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes in the closet. It wasnt easy for her or us but made us into the people we are today. She is also the strongest person that I know.
Post # 12
I could and did for many years, all on my own. People somehow find their inner strength and just make it work.
Post # 13
I was a single parent to my daughter since she was 7. After her dad and I split up he moved out of state. I worked as a legal assistant and got modest child support. Other than the child support, her dad did not help out financially, including braces, camp, medical care (surgery, at one point), computers, tutors, clothes, musical instruments, etc.
It is doable, but I certainly wouldn’t *choose* to be a single parent.
Post # 14
I couldn’t make it on my own in the town that I live in if I lived the life I’m acustomed to. My husband makes about 3 times as much as I do. If he died, like someone else said, his life insurance would pay the hosue off. So, that would help tremendously. And I could probably get by, but I would have to drastically change my lifestyle. I would probably move back to my hometown where the cost of living is much much less also. It would be hard, but doable. I would just have to really adjust.
Post # 15
Not on my salary. But if I had to, I’d make it work as you do with everything in life that gets thrown at you. But this reminds me to go home and hug my husband.
Post # 16
Yes. I would have to downsize significantly. If I absolutely NEEDED to, I could rent a small 1-2 bedroom apartment or buy a smaller house which would free up enough disposable income to make ends meet. If my car crapped out or some other unforseen major expense popped up it would be much harder on me than it would be now.