(Closed) Could you live w/o your pets for a couple years? Could the pets adjust also?

posted 9 years ago in Pets
Post # 17
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

There is an easy work around. Tons of grads where I attend school have their “therapy pets” and “emotional support” animals living with them in student housing.  Some have dogs, some cats–I never pushed my luck with the birds. 

The Americans with Disabilities Act makes it hard for institutions to restrict animals because there has not been a clear legal definition of what constitutes a true therapy animal (at least not enough of one for most places to take on the liability and put their foot down).  Our local bus agency told me that they literally can’t kick the guy who rides around with his “therapy” iguana off because they don’t want to defend it in court.

I certainly can see how the system is being abused, but as students go back to school later in life (and that is a good thing in my opinion since they are more focused), schools need to realize that keeping families intact WITH pets is actually a good policy.  If an apartment in student housing can withstand a toddler, and you give a deposit, I really don’t see the issue.

It totally depends on what you are comfortable with, but if you do what to keep your pets, you should see a psychologist or doctor who will write you a note stating that this pet is actually a therapy pet/emotional support animal for someone in your family.  Alternatively, many grad programs will refer you to campus resources that will help you find housing, or contact current grad students.  I’ve helped people coming into my program find housing through the grapevine, and often other grads with pets know about animal friendly listings.

 

 

 

Post # 18
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I absolutely wouldn’t do it. I had to leave my kitty at home for part of my bachelors degree and it has scared him permenantly. He was a one person cat, “my” cat to begin with and not only did the stress activate his asthma and food allergies, he now pees in my shoes/suitcase whenever he thinks I’m leaving. My other kitty that I rescued from my college campus is so attached that she retreats into an unmoving ball under the bed if I leave her for longer than a short vacaiton. They both become depressed and don’t want to eat. To have them with me, I would consider the lowered tuition enough of a bargain and pay extra for a pet friendly place. 

Post # 19
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would look for pet friendly housing and not settle until I found that. We have 2 cats and a dog and they are our babies. I could never leave them. I get sad when Im away from them for even a few days!

Post # 20
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, I could never do this.  We have two large dogs and always have a hard time finding a place to live and are going through this same situation right now with our plans to move to a different state.  I could never ever live without my dogs and I know they would have serious issues without us.  But that is just me, I don’t have children yet and my dogs are my children.  I just couldn’t imaging not seeing their happy fuzzy faces every day.  When we go on vacation, I miss them like crazy and keep pictures of them up in our hotel or stateroom!! 

Post # 21
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have to do it right now.  I’ve been doing it since December, but I am able to visit Satine (my 5 year old maltese).  It breaks my heart and I think I have more of the separation anxiety than she does.  She’s currently living with my grandparents and is more attached with them now, but I’m her number one still.  I wish it was possible to bring her to where J and I are living right now (just with his parents), but they’re against it because they have cats.  It wasn’t supposed to be for this long either.  J and I were supposed to have our own place by this time, but he’s still laid off.  I cry every so often because I do miss her a lot and not sure when she will be able to be with us full-time.  Makes me angry really.

ETA: I do agree with PPs that a couple of years is a long time though.  My situation is quite different considering I am able to visit and she will be living with me at some point soon. And Satine is with people she was with before so she wasn’t placed in an unfamiliar setting.  It’s really tough to leave them behind, trust me.  I honestly don’t see it as a great idea.  If you’re attached as I am, you’ll cry a lot.  🙁

Post # 22
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

To be completely honest I and I know my husband as well can never do it. Our dog is one of the family and if we were planning a move she will move with us. Even if it meant mroe money.

And sure I think your pets will survive physically just fine without you. But emotionally they will feel like you have abandoned them.

We hate leaving our pup at boarding for a week during family vacations. When we went on our 3 week honeymoon it was ONLY because our Brother-In-Law agreed to watch her. She loves him like crazy and we knew she will do the best with him.

So if I really really really really had to it would only be with someone that I know she loves just as much as she loves us.

Post # 23
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I could not do this. My dog would literally be traumatized for life. She’s unbelievably devoted to me and wouldn’t be the same dog afterwards.

I went on several summer internships without her when I was younger and she didn’t cope well. She literally laid by the front door of my parents house daily and cried. And that was only when I was gone for 2 months, not 2 years.

Post # 24
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would pay the pet deposits happily if it meant my dog could come with me.

Post # 25
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It sounds like you and you and your wife have put a lot of thought into this very difficult decision.

Keep in mind you two will do what is best for your (and your pet). My first inclination when I was the title of the thread was “Ohhhh…no….I don’t think I could leave my cat!” HOWEVER, you just never know what life will bring you and sometimes things don’t fall into place as we wish nor do we get to have everything be as we wish.

Good luck to you, I am sure this is really tough.

Post # 26
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m sorry but I couldn’t do that to my three kitties.  I’d pay hefty pet deposits and do all I could to take my furbabies with me.  That was sort of my agreement with myself and promise to them that I would always be their primary caregiver until they pass.

Post # 27
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think to do what’s best for the pets, you either find a way to take them with you, or you find them a new forever home. I feel it’s cruel to abandon your animals and change their whole life/routine/knowledge of the universe by placing them in a new home, and then simply take them back and disrupt them again because it’s easier for you. Pets are a financial and emotional commitment. If you can no longer uphold your end of the bargain find them loving, caring, stable homes and move on.

 

 

Post # 28
Member
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

We are going through a slightly similar situation right now, but there is no way Fiance and I are going to leave our cat behind.

We are moving to the UK for 2 years and pet friendly housing is extremely hard to find, especially since we may need a partially furnished place for at least some of the time while our furniture crosses the bond.

For us, leaving Tommy (our cat) behind is not an option. He sleeps in our bed with us every night and greets us at the door every day.

He’s already having issues because Fiance is in London 3 weeks out of ever month and he’s starting to either get aggressive or run and hide ever time he sees a suitcase.

Finding a place will be hard, but it is not impossible. He is part of our family and therefore he is coming with us.

It’s going to be hard enough to leave him in the states for a month or so (because of the 6 month waiting period from the last rabies test to get in to the UK) and I’m worried about that scarring him.

The longest we’ve ever left him for was a week, and we had a friend he knew well take care of him.

Post # 29
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

It worked for us! Finances and convenience sometimes do have to take precidence over pets, unfortunately. Does it mean you’re heartless? I don’t think so–especially if you’re responsible enough to find good people to be with your pets (it sounds like you have!). As much as people try to believe it, a pet is not a child, and spending hundreds or thousands extra and/or giving up very attractive conveniences for them is sometimes just beyond impractical. 

When I had to do this my cat was so happy living with my mom and dad after a year that she had no intention of coming back to live with me when I was able. My parents adopted her permanently and she is SO SO happy with them. Much more attention than I was able to provide, and much more space to have fun.

Post # 30
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I could never leave my baby.  My heart aches for her when I’m at work for crying out loud.  Vacations are even harder even though she only stays with my parents or my fiance’s.  

I wish you the best in figuring out what is best for you and your pets.

Post # 31
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I couldn’t do this. My dog is my family, and I treat him like a son.  I realize this is an extreme analogy, but for me, this would be similar to leaving my child to live with friends for a few years. I would do anything possible to keep him with me, including getting rid of cable/internet, eating cheaper, riding a bike, etc. Maybe downgrade to one car if you and your partner have more than one?  If there is absolutely no way to make it work, then I would rehome your pets.  It’s not fair for them to get attached to a new family just to be taken away again.

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