Counterpoint to a point raised by my aesthetician

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

Hi Bee,

I agree with you that love is not enough.  I was “loved” by a man that I literally could not spend another minute with because his best effort wasn’t even close to my bare minimum.  I left him and it was the best decision ever. My life is awesome now and better than I ever could have imagined three years ago.

Anyway, how are things going with you recently?  Are you still planning to leave when your lease is up?  Is he at all aware of your intent?  Has the relationship changed at all?

Post # 3
Member
4982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Lol how long was this eyebrow fax? This is a deep topic to get into with your aesthetician 😛 

I agree with you but that’s because marriage is important to me, too.  But for some people it isn’t that important and they are happy just being with someone, sharing a life but without the vows. Meh. Everyones different.

Post # 6
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

phillygirl93 :  I think if you purchased it, you should keep it.  It’s yours and you’re entitled to it.  It will make the burden of moving a lot less stressful knowing that you’ll be able to furnish a new place, even if it’s just some couches.

Post # 8
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

phillygirl93 :  I still think you should take what you want.  Especially if you purchased it.  You don’t want to leave yourself with nothing.  I think you’ll regret doing that if you do.

Post # 9
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee

People need to decide what works for them in their situation. Some people don’t want or need marriage. Others do. But at the end of the day you and your partner need to be on the same page on the big issues. Best of luck, bee. 

Post # 10
Member
4062 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

phillygirl93 :  I’d be taking 70% of the furniture and all the kitchen cookware/utensils/plates/whatever the hell else if I did that.

So? Your post is about not being too nice/bending over backwards for some dude.

Post # 12
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee

phillygirl93 :  yes! What’s yours is yours. He HAD a nice home with a loving companion but soon he’ll have an empty home all by himself. He will learn a valuable lesson: Listen to a woman when she speaks!

Post # 13
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee

Definitely take the furniture. You paid for it. 

And it’s not “rare” to find a man who loves you, as you aesthetician states. Love matters, but it’s not nearly enough. You need to have a shared vision of the future. I’d get out of there ASAP.

Post # 15
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

phillygirl93 :  I’m so excited to see your spine! 😊 on your other post, I remember agreeing that you should do exactly as suits you, screw this guy.  You ABSOLUTELY should take every single thing you paid for.  Who cares if he doesn’t have a pot to piss in after?  He can go do for himself instead of trying get from you.  I hate this worldview that many loser men have that women should be “chill” because the men don’t like the organization and effort.  I should sure as hell not be chill about pursuing the life I want.  I once tried to be the chill girlfriend and it ended with me being trampled on for 4 years until I had enough.  Then he decided I was racist (?), classist, and mean for expecting him to have a full time job to help support us.  His exact words were that I should be chill enough to pay for him and his loads of debt while he found himself.  Fuck that.  He called me a nasty c*** on our last phone call and said he thought I would be nicer to him.  Yeah I hung up the phone, sold everything I had of his or threw it away, and met my Fiance 4 days later. 🤗

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