(Closed) Couple breaks up after RSVP

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: After reading my question, what would YOU do?
    Keep the person we don't know as well on the invite/seating chart : (0 votes)
    Keep them on the seating chart but not near former SO : (5 votes)
    5 %
    Remove them from seating chart : (60 votes)
    62 %
    Other, explain below : (32 votes)
    33 %
  • Post # 3
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’d just remove them from the seating chart since they’re not mutual friends. I can’t imagine wanting to spend an evening alone at a wedding with all my exes friends after a recent breakup.

    Post # 5
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’d say it’s safe to remove them from the seating chart, but maybe shoot your friends a quick email like “So this is awkward, but it’s safe for me to assume that your ex isn’t coming right?”

    Post # 6
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    You have to call them and ask if they will be coming alone now- they may be on good terms with the ex, they may think they can replace their ex with someone else, they may decide to come alone, or they may decide to not attend at all – but you need to know that before you give your final numbers and plan your seating chart.

    Post # 7
    485 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @WoodenShoes:  I agree, your best bet is to just ask the friends, instead of trying to guess.  You’ll probably have 3 different answers from the 3 couples, as every breakup is different.

    Post # 8
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    this is weird but I actually know a couple that broke up about a month ago and are going to a wedding together today…. the female in the relationship isn’t particularly close but I guess still wanted to go and they are friendly enough so it worked out.  I would definitely ask before making plans.

    Post # 9
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Definitely call and ask what there plan is.  I think some people might assume it’s okay to bring someone else along in the exes place.

    Post # 10
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    +1 for asking the friends.

    Post # 11
    4419 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    You need to contact them, and not assume anything.  Depending on the breakup, they might still be on friendly terms. Some couples will honor commitments to attend events together even after they’re no longer a couple–orthers don’t.  Plus, in the drama of the breakup, they might not have thought about how to handle this particular situation. 


    Post # 12
    583 posts
    Busy bee

    Call and ask!  We had someone break up and they’re still really good friends with their ex so there is a chance he’ll come anyways.

    Post # 13
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would certainly follow up with your friends to find out what they think is happening and truthfully, I think it would be a bit tacky to tell them they can’t bring a replacement guest if that is their plan.


    Post # 14
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would ask each invitee personally if the ex is still planning to come..  If so, seat them together.

    Post # 15
    3182 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I agree with PP, you should just ask them what their plans are.  

    Post # 16
    6543 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Ask your friends.

    If I was invited to a wedding as the +1 (and didn’t know the couple well) and we broke up, I would in no way assume that I was still invited or even go.

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