- 5 years ago
I have just found this website and I am quite fond of it. I have looked for something similar in my native language but sadly there is not. It seems to me that I am the only one in my country with couple issues…
I have recently postponed my wedding. It is really hard, because everything happened so fast and I feel confused. I knew in some remote corner of my mind that I was a bit depressed but my boyfriend and I both thought it was due to my stressful job. Maybe it is only a part.
My company sent me a week in US for a course, one month before the wedding. When I was there I felt much more serene and peaceful than in my everyday life. This was the first red flag. The second one was to meet a boy at the course to whom I felt attracted. It had never happened in 6 years with my boyfriend.
This was at the end of May.
The first thing I did when I came back was postponing the wedding and discussing openly with my boyfriend.
He was hurt, of course. We discussed a lot and we fought in a way we had never done before. I think that we need more solid foundations for our marriage. I am really lucky to be with him because he is a great person, he loves me and makes me feel the most important thing of his life. And for many aspects he is exactly the man of my dreams, we have the same values, the same political view and he is really sensitive and respectful. I imagine us as a wonderful family in the future.
But there are also issues that we have ignored and that are coming up now. In the past he seemed reluctant to ask help about those issues but I guess that they have affected our sexual life. I am not sure but maybe I grow resentful because he was not available to any change and I lost desire. There still is like a fog in my feelings that does not allow me a clear understanding.
What impressed me most is that I felt such a strong attraction to the boy I met in US after only two afternoons spent together. He told me things about himself that made me think he is as I want my boyfriend to be. For instance, he told me that he is doing his job, even though it is far from his studies, because he wants stability to have a family. My boyfriend threatened to resign (I do not know how much seriously) two months before the wedding. His attitude makes me feel anxious and uncertain about our future but he is always offended when I try to raise this point.
I do not know if we can still recover our relationship. I do not want to spoil something precious but at the same time I do not want to stay in a relationship if my feelings have changed. How is it possible I am still so confused? Am I too scared to admit that it is over? Has it ever happened to any of you?
Recently my boyfriend agreed for couple counselling…I hope this will help us. Please share if you have positive experiences.