(Closed) Couple forgot to invite someone?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmm thats a tough one, I am inclinded to gently say something just in case they did forget OR in case this person’s invite was lost in the mail.  Just try to be really non-chalant non-threatening about it.  Like “oh I am excited for your wedding do you know if FRIEND’s Name is going to be able to make it?” Kinda play dumb like you havent even spoken to him yet type deal.

Post # 4
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

A couple years ago, my best friend/roommate received an invitation to a close friend’s wedding, but I did not.  I was crushed.  I moped for an entire month.  Then, we all went out for drinks and the bride asked why I had not returned my RSVP card yet.  I was like “I thought I wasn’t invited!!”  Turns out, I WAS, it just got lost in the mail.  She assured me I was invited and sent me a new invitation.  Sure enough, I got the original one a few days after the new one, looking like it had been run over by several cars.

I would just ask.  Just say, “hey, are so and so coming?”  Try to sound casual.

Post # 5
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

OH!  And I “forgot” to invite my cousin Phil (whom I haven’t seen since I was a child) and my Uncle John (his father, and a total dick) called and bitched my Dad out.  Don’t go that route.  Now I have to send an invite to Phil, and I’m bitter about it.

Post # 6
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I like lovespearls idea. I think being casual is the best idea in this situation. 

Post # 7
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Things DO get lost in the mail- we found out that a handfull of our guests never got their STD card so it definitely happens.  I would just casually mention it to the bride; if it turns out the invite got lost I’m sure she will appreciate the heads up.

Post # 8
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with playing dumb and happening to bring up person you think might have been forgotten.  I def almost forgot a few people and was happy my mom and Future Mother-In-Law pointed a few out.  I wouldn’t phrase it as an ouright “did you invite X” way.

Post # 9
Member
3331 posts
Sugar bee

I like the idea of just causally mentioning it, like “so, are the so-and-so’s coming to the wedding?”  That way, if it was an oversight, she can fix the situation and invite them.  If there really was a reason to leave them off the list, she can let you know discretely.

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think if you really do think it was a mistake and they would be expected to be invited I would definatly ask the bride about it. I wouldn’t hide the fact that you’ve talked to the guy because when you ask “hey is Dude going to make it.” & She says “I dont know we havn’t heard back from them.” Then you need to somehow be able to say well I talked to him and he said he didn’t get an invite. If you act like you havn’t talked to him then your lieing. I say ask the bride. No big deal. Tell her you were having lunch with Dude & you accidently asked about the wedding not realizing that he wasn’t invited and see what she says.

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