(Closed) Couple has a child but only wants certain children at reception

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 30
Member
14949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I see nothing wrong with only wanting children in the *immediate* family there.  Of course they want their own children there, and own brothers and sisters.  I can totally understand not wanting nieces/nephew and especially cousins to be all invited as well. 

Post # 31
Member
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

mob2014:  On to the point of the nephews, I’m confused, you said the groom was an only child?  When I married into my husband’s family I picked up two BILs, one SIL and two nephews, but I only called them that after we go married not beforehand.  Unless you’re paying for it, I think the bride and groom are perfectly justified in how they want their wedding to go.

Post # 32
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

 

What the bride and the groom wants should prevail. My wedding was 18 days ago and the only child invited was our son who was the ring bearer and will turn 3 in December. Even if he was six months old and would be screaming through out the ceremony he would still be there when his parents get married. The second child who was there was my uncle’s daughter who came as his father’s partner but she is 11 years old and behaves like an 18 year old (no screaming, or running around). No body complained to me since I made it very clear in the invitations that “regret no children”. I didn’t even want to say adult only since some people would have acted like they don’t know what that means.

And the one thing I will never do is arrange a babysitter or a kid’s party. In fact I don’t think there are those services in my country.

Please let the coulple getting married decide how they want their wedding to be and who should be there. It’s the one day where they should be allowed to call the shots and be selfish!!

Post # 33
Member
351 posts
Helper bee

mob2014:  When my husband and I were married our daughter (5) and my brother (9) were the only children at the wedding. My sister was invited but my nephews were Not. She chose not to attend, and I was okay with that.  My Husband has a niece from his side of the family and she was also not invited

It was our decision that we didn’t want any children at our wedding, except for our daughter and my brother. 

Post # 34
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

aoppenhuizen:  The “limited space” wording is still exclusive by implication and  unnecessary. Just as you mentioned, an invitation is always addressed in the names of those who are invited.  “And family” is not the traditional or  proper way to address an envelope. The children’s names should be written out.

We are supposed to assume that people know how to read an invitation rather than imply they do not.  If they respond for more than were invited, then you contact them to correct the misunderstanding. 

I know some people do age cut offs.  That’s fine, but personally I would only do that if it did not result in discriminating within children of the same family.

Post # 35
Member
4892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We only invited kids that we were related to… so siblings and then our cousins children, if they had any.

I only had one friend’s wife question that (since our RSVP had a kid’s option), but most others were happy for a night free of their kids to celebrate with us.

Post # 36
Member
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think they are doing exactly the right thing, only THEIR child and THEIR siblings, all others excluded.

 

I’m doing something similar, and my two children 5 & 8 at the wedding, will be there, and then my two neices (4 and 7) who will also be in the wedding, will be invited. All other children excluded.

 

My family is FULL of young children and we can’t afford to feed that many extra mouths (bc they are treated as adults) AND our venue has a capacity that would be met and we’d need to exclude other friends/family if everyone was to bring their children.

 

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