Post # 1
So it looks like one of my FI’s best friends and groomsmen might be going through a separation/beginning of a divorce. Nothing is official yet, but he texted Fiance today about leaving/moving out. I feel awful, I know they weren’t happy, but we saw this coming, just didn’t know when.
So, our invites are going out soon: I don’t know if should put her on the invite (yes she was sent a save the date along with him months ago). Should I wait? Should I ask him (groomsmen)? I don’t want to make it weird for him, or her. I realize it’s a pretty awkward and common situation, I just have never been faced with a dilemma like this.
Post # 2
I would send the invite as is. You wouldn’t want to accelerate their breakup with some unintended misunderstanding and put yourself in the drama. Find out later from the guy if he’s still bringing someone.
Post # 3
Your wedding isn’t until november. Your invites don’t need to go out until September. 8 weeks is standard. Hold off until you know more. Or just wait on theirs.
Post # 4
meliboo : we had this with Brother-In-Law. He moved out for a month and then moved back in when we were sending the invites out. We were pretty certain that it wasn’t going to be long before they broke up, we just didn’t know when…
So we put the invite in the mail with her name on it. She moved out that day for good. Rubbish timing but Brother-In-Law understood. When you send out the invites just approach and him see if the situation has changed any and if it has that you mean no offence.
Post # 5
For now keep her on the list.
Post # 6
I would keep her. We are going through something similar with one of FI’s groomsmen. Since we don’t know what is happening, we addressed it to both of them to be safe.
Post # 7
They may end up back together by the time invites really need to go out. If they are still in a relationship at that time (even if they are just doing the temporary break thing or moving out but still consider themselves in a relationship while they sort things) then keep her on. If not, then just him. But this really doesn’t need to be sorted out for another 6 weeks at least unless you are having your envelopes professionally addressed and have to get the calligrapher your address list now.
Post # 8
I’d keep her name for now. You just never know with these kinds of things…
One of my friends told me last November that her and her husband were divorcing. They are currently still together and have a baby on the way. Shrug!
Post # 9
If they are still married, her name goes on the invitation. Whether or not she attends is for them to work out. If he’s your friend, most likely she wouldn’t.
I agree that if the wedding is really in November it is too early to be mailing your invitations anyway.
Post # 10
Technically, since they are still legally married, it should be addressed to both of them. Also, I sent mine out early (we are having a destination wedding though)
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for the advice; we are having someone do the envelopes early and that’s why I wasn’t sure.
I will keep her on the invite and go from there.
Post # 12
meliboo : honestly, i’d just ask your calligrapher to make two envelopes – one with both their names, and one with just his. a calligraphied envelope is usually $3-4…seems like a very small price to pay to have the flexibility in which to send out in a few months.