(Closed) Couples counseling, anyone?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been or are you currently in couples counseling?
    Yes : (24 votes)
    38 %
    No : (23 votes)
    36 %
    Not yet, but I'd like to be : (17 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Rancho Bernardo Inn

    Candy Corn!  I’m so sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this.  It is so hard to have someone close to you struggle with depression, anxiety, anger etc. and that much more when it is your husband.  My mom was severely depressed for the last 4 years and Mr. D has struggled with anxiety.  If you want to talk more about it and how we’ve dealt with it, let me know.  I am so glad you are able to see a counselor and that Mr. CC was wiling to go. That’s a huge step.  The meds take a while to fully work so encourage him to give it a chance.  We are here for you anytime you need to talk!  *Hugs*

    Post # 4
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    #1. I <3 you candy corn!

    #2.  We’ve definitely considered couples counseling.  I don’t fight fair at all, and even when I know I’m about to say something jerky – I say it anyway!When I was unemployed in England (even though it was by choice) I was pretty upset about it.  The first month I tried to view it as a vacation btu after that, it got real old, real quick.  I had been so used to brining in an income and being able to support myself and all of a sudden I was 100% depending on someone else.  Some days I’d just cry, and some days I’d be in horrible moods and poor Mr.D had no idea what to do with me.  So then because I felt guilty about worrying Mr.D I’d try to bottle it up.  Which obviously led me to bottle it up and then burst randomly " I don’t KNOW what I want for dinner, what the heck!?!?!".  uh…right.  I could tell my behaviour wasn’t helpful, but I didn’t really know what to do – I was legally not allowed to work in the UK so there was no resolution in sight for at least 5 months.  

    I tried to find things to fill my time, blogging, working out, going for walks, but none of it helped the fact that I felt useless in our relationship.  So I focused on cooking dinner with new creative recipes we’d both enjoy (he loves meat, I’m a veggie), cleaning, and he even indulged me in a trip to Ikea so I could redecorate a bit.  It took me a long while to see that contributing financially isn’t the only way one can contribute to the relationship.  Heck, I still sort of have issues with that.  But I’m still unemployed even though I’m back in the states and I’m also going to try and get a part time job while I search for a full time job.  At least this way I’ll be making SOMETHING and have something to do to help me feel productive.

    I don’t have much advice, but I think it’s really great that you have a plan to work on things.  Mr. CC is lucky to have such an open, honest and understanding partner in you. <3

    Post # 5
    Bee
    12425 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

    Candy Corn, I’m glad you shared that with all of us.  It sounds like you are being very mature about this and handling it all very well.  Mr. CC is really lucky to have someone like you when he is going through this rough time.  I’m impressed with your decision to spend some time apart.  I hope it helps in the long run and that Mr. CC responds well to the counseling.  You guys are going to get through it! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    428 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House

    Aww, CC… thanks for opening up to us.  I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this in your new marriage, but I am glad that you are trying to work on your relationship and his anger management.  Mr. Beagle and I haven’t been to couples counseling yet, but if there was a place in our relationship that we or one of us felt like we needed it, we would open to trying it out!  I have anxiety problems (paired with lots of family health issues) that caused us some problems right around our engagement.  (I was emotional 90% of the time and Mr. Beagle was a little overwhelmed).  I started taking anti-anxiety meds and they have worked out great for me.  I feel much more at ease and I’m not so high strung.  It makes it easier for me to talk about my feelings when I’m really upset.  I hope Mr. CC will have just as much success.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    Mrs. CC we love you!!! You sound incredibly rational… way more than I could ever be! Mr. CC is so lucky to have you, and it sounds like you guys are taking the right steps to a healthy and happy home!  I do hope that the counseling helps… it already sounds like it has tremendously!  We miss you and are so glad you updated us… I always think of you when I see Jimmy Falon (and now I see him, like, all the time now that he has his own show!!!)

    Post # 10
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Mrs. CC – you sound like you have such a great head on your shoulders and Mr. CC is lucky to have you!!  While we never have been to counseling, there was a period of time that I really wanted to go and we never ended up going.  Our issues ran their course and we talked and talked and talked. 

    I don’t have too much advice, but just wanted to say that I wish you the best.  It sounds like you are doing all the right things.

    Post # 11
    Bee
    1048 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

    Wow, candy corn. You’re so wonderful to openly share all of this. This must be so incredibly hard for both of you; I’ve missed you but definitely understand why re-caps aren’t on the top of your to-do list right now. I think my folks would react similarly to your folks – it’s so great that his are being so supportive. I wish I had some advice for you; unfortunatley the only experience i have with this type of thing was with an ex boyfriend. But anyway, HUGS.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2000 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I’m going to go back and reread before I post my thoughts, but thank you so much for sharing, Candy Corn. Big Hive Hugs to you!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2765 posts
    Sugar bee

    Wow you sound so level-headed…  I am so impressed!  I hope for nothing but the best for you and Mr. Candy Corn! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2000 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    OK, here goes ….

    As I shared in my blog the other day, I have a history of depression and anxiety and Mr. Bunny and I have been in counseling — both with a professional counselor and with our pastor. It has helped us become more aware of our own and each other’s personalities and tendencies and has helped us learn to communicate better. We’re also planning on meeting with our pastor at least twice after the wedding to talk about how everything is going.

    I can also relate to your experience with your parents being less than supportive of you …Mr. Bunny, of course, isn’t perfect, and my parents seem to jump on every little thing as evidence that we’re doomed. Not too encouraging or helpful, especially for someone as anxious as I am!

    It really sounds like you’re on the right track. As long as Mr. CC stays committed to working through this difficult time I’m sure you will come through much stronger for it. Medication and counseling did wonders for me, but I still have rough days and Mr. Bunny’s presence and continued love is what gets me through. It sounds like Mr. CC has that in you, too.

    Once again, all my hugs, love and prayers.

    <3

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    7082 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    CC- thank you so much for sharing with us.  It makes you seem so real.  It seems like you’ve been doing everything that you can to deal with the situation.  It’s always amazing just how much counseling can help.  Hopefully Mr. CC starts seeing someone in individual sessions as well, so that he can really dig down into the roots of his anger issues.

    Didn’t he recently experience a personal loss?  Could that have any impact on the situation?

    My heart goes out to you.  Be strong and know that we’re here for you.

    The topic ‘Couples counseling, anyone?’ is closed to new replies.

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